


Her Eyes Don't Remember

by aleksa_grey



Series: Long Into An Abyss [1]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Clarke Griffin Has a Crush, Clexa, Different lives, Eventual Smut, F/F, Flashbacks, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Game of Thrones References, Jealous Lexa, Jealousy, Lexa is a poet, Memory Loss, Reincarnation, Slow Burn, Soulmates, clarke/lexa - Freeform, these pairings are minor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-02
Updated: 2017-03-22
Packaged: 2018-09-21 11:51:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 30,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9547943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aleksa_grey/pseuds/aleksa_grey
Summary: Lexa died but didn't and now she meets Clarke again in her senior year when Clarke and her twin brother Aden transfer as new seniors. Clarke has no idea who she is. Can Lexa stop being a crazy person long enough to get Clarke back regardless of her meddling friends - Octavia and Raven - or Aden's not so subtle hints that he remembers her.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Never wrote fanfic before. More of a poet than a story writer. Let me know what you guys think of this first chapter. Do you want me to continue? Italics are flashbacks.

HER EYES DON’T REMEMBER

 

Lexa finished the poem letting the pen fall from her fingers onto the desk. She sighed, slumping into the chair ignoring the stares that were flung her way. She remembered everything. Titus. Clarke. The bullet. Dying. Waking up? She remembered feeling like a weight had been flung into her upon opening her eyes and she could only take half breaths. How was she alive?

The bell shrilled loudly and brought Lexa out of her reverie. She grabbed up her book bag and left the room in a hurried daze of limbs. The flashes were hitting her again. She was remembering more than forgetting these days. Struggling to stop the flashbacks and the heart attacks of feelings. It was difficult. Well, as difficult as any if one could actually remember dying and then not.

 

_Remember waking up to the love of your life in your place. Remember screaming at him to tell you what happened. Remember falling helplessly in a crumble of skin and entrails not exposed, onto furs provided somehow, an ache in your gut eating you alive. You listen to him tell you how Clarke forced him to call upon the spirits of the Commanders to save you. How she placed the gun to her head and a knife to your throat. How she threatened you. Bawled. Screamed. Begged. You tell me how you gave in and did her bidding because it was your fault that I, your Heda, lay bled out from bullet wound. Your fault that you went against my wishes. Your fault that you were an imbecile. Your fault that simple instructions not to harm Clarke of the Sky People fell deaf on your ears. You tell me that as Flame keeper you did your duty to me and brought me back at my lover’s request even though all of this was your fault. You continue speaking, and I remember shouting get out and a flurry of guards._

_You cry out. Screaming at guards trying to help you up, and even Indra leaves you alone. The spirit of the commanders are quiet. You never believed much in god, but now, you call out to Him, or Her, or They; the Old gods and the New. You need to change this. Be with her. Being commander is nothing without her. She means too much to still go on without her. Your people be damned, because what good will you be to them with this weakness as a chip on your shoulder. You remember a shift in the air. You remember red or burgundy or a fire-color. You remember breasts, full and high. You see glimpses of a pale neck, gothic choker in place and you wonder even though fainting from exhaustion if see belongs to Azgeda. She has no scars though. You close your eyes. You can’t care anymore._

_You remember waking up in a bed and a room that weren’t yours, but yours at the same time. You see pictures of you and people that are smiling and you automatically know them. You can identify them. Have memories with them. Can say their names. This is real, but you remember being Commander of the 12 clans. You remember Clarke dying. You remember Titus’ betrayal. You remember the woman in red. You remember fire. You remember nothing else. You don’t know what she did, but you are here, in a different time it seems and in your head things make sense. Things are separate. Like different lives, but equally real—_

 

Lexa is brought out of her thoughts just as some fuckboy nearly runs into her and the scowl that splits her lips is enough to get a hushed apology out of him. She’s silently grateful for him running into her, getting her out of her head, and out of her depression. She hates this. The final year of high school. She’s a senior and to her it means nothing. She’s been conscious of ‘this life’ for four years even though her memories rightly go back to childhood. She sighs and enters her next class just in time to see the teacher call two students sitting in the front row to the top of the class.

She looks up absently, trying to get her notebook out, as Mr. Kane begins his introductions, “Class, this is Aden and Clarke Gr—” Lexa’s head shoots up and she is staring now. Mouth hung open, because of course this can’t be real. She is there though: her Clarke. Lexa continues to stare at the golden hair, the little spot above her lip, the fucking blue of her eyes, the tilt of her smile, the openness of her stance, the familiarity of her personality. Lexa stares because she can’t believe Clarke is here. Lexa stares until she hears her speak and Lexa doesn’t hear what she says because she can’t breathe. She is afraid to blink. She is afraid to kill this obvious daydream her mind has conjured. She is scared and she is staring and she can’t believe that after four years. A new life. A strange world and an apparently answered prayer that her Clarke is here. She can’t believe it and she just watches open-mouthed as the girl takes her seat.

“Woods,” a voice whispers and she jumps, both from being shocked out of her trance and because her side hurts from being poked. She sees Octavia motioning to her from her peripheral vision and she turns to her, “are you okay?” and she nods her head at her friend, because she can’t find words yet. She turns around. She has to. She needs to keep her eyes on blonde hair. Needs to keep focused. She doesn’t want to lose her again. She feels her phone vibrate.

 

**Group Chat: GROUNDERS**

**OctaO –** Stop drooling over the blonde Woods!

 **Lexa –** Not…

 **RavingReyes –** Which blonde?

 **RavingReyes –** What! Someone got Woodsie to be flustered!

 **OctaO –** U should see her face. Red. Blushing and jaw dropped and shit. It’s sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet

 **Lexa –** Not…

 **RavingReyes –** even your vocabulary is affected Woodsie! Lol! Shit! Which blonde though?

 **OctaO –** New girl. Her bro is just as fucking hot.

 **OctaO –** twins have come to Trikru Academy!

 **RavingReyes –** oh shit!

 **Lexa –** she has a brother?

 **OctaO –** ofc! Your gay heart in eyes self would only see the girl! Lol!

 **RavingReyes –** I call dibs!!!!!!!!!!!

 **OctaO –** on which one?

 **RavingReyes –** sure I could manage a twin double team. I am fucking Raven Reyes after all!

 **Lexa –** No…

 **RavingReyes –** Lol. Lol. Ha ha. I thought you focused on school Woodsie! You ain’t dating remember! That’s what you tell everyyyyyyyyyyybody! *sticks out tongue*

 **OctaO –** Oh this is tooooo good. You should c her face Rae. OMG! Murder ‘bout to happen.

 **RavenReyes –** Lol. Lol. You couldn’t take me Woodsie. You wouldn’t kill a cripple after all.

 **Lexa –** try me… if you try your bullshit I will cut you Raven.

 **OctaO –** Lol. Lol. I’m dying. Kane is giving me death eyes yo.

 **RavingReyes –** must be some blonde…

 

Lexa scowled at her phone. She turned around and gave Octavia a dirty look before stuffing the phone into her pocket ignoring whatever messages they would continue sending. How was she friends with these jackasses? The class was taking too long. Forty five minutes have never passed so slowly for Lexa and every second was like pins in her skin. Digging and dragging across her flesh as if to make her aware she was this far away from who she so desperately wanted. _Fuck_ she sighed and closed her eyes, willing the seconds to tick away quickly.

 

 

//

Clarke hated that she had to move schools. She missed her friends and she missed the fucking sun of L.A. Like what the hell was a _Forks_ and why was it even a town? She sighed out loud and felt Aden hit her leg with his knee. She huffed and turned back to Mr. Kane. She wondered if Aden felt it too. If he was annoyed as she was. As cold? Because this town was an icebox for no goddamn reason. Who the hell names a town _Forks_? The class was almost out and she was glad. The day would soon end and she could go home and just enjoy the silence of not being introduced to a hundred people over and over every time she went into a different classroom. She figured the teachers thought it was polite. She figured the students were curious, but she hated it. Back in California she was popular, but not for reasons of being the new kid in a town of not even 4000 people.

She heard the bell and bolted out of her seat so quickly she heard Aden laugh, but she couldn’t pay him any attention. She needed air. She needed quiet. She needed to be left alone. She needed—

“Clarke!” she heard her name being called from behind her and stopped, spinning on her heels, brushing her hair out of her face. She didn’t know the girl calling out to her, but she was beautiful. It was the same girl who had stared at her blankly in Kane’s class. She had just looked around the class in passing while Kane had droned on, so she had only glimpsed her, but damn. Her hair was down, a refined mess of wavy brown curls and intrigue; if hair can be intriguing. Clarke reprimanded herself, but as she watched this girl coming closer to her she took in the lithe form jogging closer and closer. She must be athletic she figured, her legs were straining in the tightest skinny jeans ever made and her feet were clad in black converse. She wore a grey t-shirt and a black jacket completing a look that Clarke couldn’t place. It wasn’t a life-shattering or time freezing experience, nah, but it was different and it made Clarke notice.

The girl finally caught up to her still figure and Clarke watched her breathe out. Saw her eyes – a green fucking paradise of wants and desires and forevers and almosts and nevers and yes and now and innocence – take her in. This girl was taking her in and her eyes betrayed a sense of relief or wariness. Clarke was unsure so she titled her head, waiting for her to speak being that she had been the one to stop her.

“Wow,” and Clarke was suddenly taken aback. She couldn’t believe this girl was trying to use a line on her on the first day of class. Figures Clarke thought and started stepping away.

“No! Clarke… wait!” she heard the girl almost half mumble and shout behind her. The hallways were emptying out now and she could see her brother finally exiting the classroom heading in her direction. She sighed and turned back to the girl, “yes?”

“What do you mean yes?” the girl retorts, and Clarke swears she sees anger flash through the viridian of her gaze.

“You stopped me. What do you want?” Clarke tries her best to be calm, but the girl’s response throws her off and she explodes.

“Clarke! What the hell! You’re here, like finally here! You’re alive and you’re here!” this girl almost shouts at her and Clarke sees her brother speed up in her direction hearing the commotion.

“Look! I don’t know you! Of course I’m alive! What the fuck is wrong with you? Do you need help! Shouting at strangers! Talking about their death. You know what…” and Clarke stops mid-sentence because she sees fear flash through the girl’s eyes. Clarke sees her beautiful face contort in hurt and confusion and she shakes her head and quickly walks away.

 

 

//

Lexa can’t believe her ears. Clarke is behaving as if she doesn’t even know her and she stands there silent, watching the delicate figure of _her Clarke_ walk away from her. She stands and watches and still unspeaking can’t even retort when a blonde boy bumps into her running after Clarke. She wonders if he is her boyfriend, if in this life Clarke has moved on and forgotten about her. About their past. About their love. She hangs her head and sighs. He turns to her and shoots a quick sorry her way and she looks up making a connection with blue eyes. Sky eyes. Just like Clarke’s. He looks just like Clarke. She watches his blue eyes widen and sees his hesitation. It is like he wants to move forward, but not at the same time. He shakes his head and she hears him apologize again before continuing after Clarke.

She’s fucked.


	2. Unexpected and Laughter and Jealousy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So Clarke doesn’t remember Lexa. Aden remembers her (at least he thinks so), but he looks different so Lexa has no idea who he is (he is now Clarke's twin). In this Chapter we see both hurt Lexa, Jealous Lexa and confused Lexa. A bit of angry Clarke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was to post last night guys but went to watch a play called COCKTALES that was totally not about alcohol! Lol. Omg! I laughed like crazy. Think I might be hoarse now tho. Sooooooo here's Chapter two. Lemme know how you guys like it so far. What do you wanna see happen?
> 
> I love the comments so far by the way. A friend of mine asked me if I realized that season 4 of The 100 premiered the night I posted the first chapter, and I was like nah that’s in February, and they go like OMG, which month do you think it is? Lol. I swear I never realized January ended. My bad. Lol.
> 
> Lemme know what you guys think. At the end of the day this story is for you as much as it is for me. Commentary is welcome. CHEERS!  
> Memories or Flashbacks are in Italics.

 

Clarke felt more than heard Aden step up behind her. She turned giving him a tight smile and continued walking. The parking lot was empty and she bee-lined in that direction ignoring the fact that she had another class to get to. Her head was pounding. She was livid, but more so confused.

“Who the hell does she think she is!?” the words ripped from her throat as she whirled on her brother, watching him side step her so he wouldn’t collide with her wild movements as they finally stopped at their shared vehicle.

It was a 2008 midnight blue Prado. A hand me down from their father when they had started high school. A shared consensus between them that hey neither of us are ever walking again – I got you. The seats inside were worn from years of wear and tear and the copious amounts of sex they often engaged in on the collapsible back seats. It was a good vehicle. Aden opened the trunk and sat on the edge with his feet hanging out before answering his sister. Clarke sighed as she watched him, and got in beside him.

“You may think her ways are harsh, but maybe it’s how she survives,” he breathes out, and lets his feet swing in motion with Clarke’s.

“Oh my god! You can’t possibly!” Clarke started and just sighed again. Of course Aden was blinded by the pretty looks of another girl. Her brother might be her soul in another body, but he was an idiot most times. She huffed. She loved him though and so she was trying her best not to blow up at him when he truly did nothing wrong. He was after all here at least, waiting to listen to her.

Aden and Clarke were almost mirror images of each other. Both their hairs were blonde, but Clarke was stocky and curvy. Not your ideal dumb skinny blonde persona and not dumb; more like spunky, outspoken, and easily pissed by norms. She wasn’t short, but on the average scale of measuring heights. Her legs were strong but not athletic, and she had a spot over the left side of her lip.

Aden was barely an inch taller than his sister and exercise has turned his body taut. He had short hair, unlike Clarke's long wispy golden length. When they were freshman back in LA, he had grown out his hair and use to wear it in a ponytail. The teachers were often confused and couldn't tell them apart, but when Clarke started blossoming at the end of that year that trick couldn't happen again. Their chest sizes got way different by then and eventually people couldn't decide which of them were more desirable. It was funny, before “The CHANGING” as they call it. It was actually people mistaking them for each other that made Clarke aware she was into girls...

 

_She had run home that day. He'd been sick and the parental units forced her to go to school and she'd still worn the same exact outfit they'd planned on— grey slacks, tank and her Letterman jacket with GRIFFIN the exact red as his own stamped on the back. Luna, a girl he'd been dating at the time had seen Clarke with her hair in a ponytail exiting the Prado from the driver’s side and thought she was Aden because he normally drove, and she'd just pounced. Luna had kissed Clarke hard, prodding with her tongue and grinding hips into hers. Clarke had just stood there lips unmoving, hands fisted; shocked. Luna apparently had been upset about not getting a response and stepped back ready to lash out when she had realized it was Clarke. Luna had apologized like crazy and Clarke just stood there dazed till she had turned on her heel and ran out of the parking lot all the way home, leaving the car and her things. She blasted into his room and told him the story, announcing loudly that that was the hottest thing ever, and she now needed to kiss more girls as much as possible._

 

The siblings sat in silence till Clarke exploded again, "I thought she was trying to flirt with me."

Aden quirked his lips and wiggled his eyebrows at her. Clarke punched him in the arm, "don't gimme that look, she's hot you gotta admit it."

"What happened?" Aden prodded and he listened to Clarke replay the conversation. His eyes widened and he knew his initial instincts had been right. This was Lexa, but how did he know that? He felt like he knew her, not completely, but like it was important to meet her again; like hanging with a cousin you hadn't seen in forever. He needed to talk to her. He needed to know what was going on.

Clarke watched her brother thinking. His brows furrowed like crazy when something was on his mind and she figured he’d tell her when he was ready. As she was about to nudge him the bell rang three times in succession, cutting off her train of thought and she saw students rushing out of the buildings. She wondered why school ended before the last period, but wasn’t inclined to actually care enough to query it.

“So, we only missed one class,” Aden said to her, nudging her side and causing her to jump. He burst out laughing at her reaction, and she scowled, “Oh you’re an ass!” she spat back and was on him in an instant. The tickling had him howling in laughter, and she was a mess of giggles and fits and rolls; which is how they found themselves falling out of the trunk and landing dangerously close to two sets of feet on the pavement.

Clarke was the first to scramble away and jump up, easily resetting her shirt and brushing her hair away. She saw two pairs of eyes smiling at her and she smirked. Aden was on his feet an minute later, dusting off his jeans and setting himself up as both big brother and charmer, now throwing his gaze in the direction of the brunettes.

“Hi, I’m Ad—”and he was cut off before he could finish by the shorter brunette.

“Aden. Yeah, and you’re Clarke. We have Kane together,” she said and shoved her hand out. The Latina snorted behind her when Aden took her hand and Clarke titled her head gauging the situation.

“I’m Raven,” the Latina brunette offered, “and this rousing ball of impolite sunshine, is Octavia,” Clarke watched as Octavia’s cheeks reddened, and she threw a dirty look at Raven. Raven only grinned and Clarke thought to herself, well hell this ought to be fun.

“Nice to meet you both,” Aden chirped and Clarke nodded repeating the sentiment. Clarke complimented Octavia’s build and asked her if she did sports. Raven snorted excessively and Octavia blushed like an idiot saying yes, she played soccer. Raven was headed for an engineering scholarship because she was some genius apparently Clarke learned. She told them how she was more an Art/Literature girl, and her big lug of a brother beside her, was a full on Science nerd. Raven perked up at that Clarke noted and she watched Raven smile wide and turn her full attention to Aden, carrying on some conversation that went over her head completely.

“What?” she had zoned out not hearing what Octavia had just said. She saw the girl chuckle silently, her shoulders rising and falling almost gracefully.

“I said, you would totally like our best friend Lexa. She’s a totally Literature dork. Writes poems and sonnets and all that jazz. Can’t draw for shit though,” Octavia grinned in reply.

“They kinda are the same thing O!” Raven drawled, smirk in place.

“What?” Octavia asked confused.

“Sonnets and Poems. Right Clarke?” and the way Raven said her name was like a challenge. Like a bell saying choose sides now because we are catty and this could get ugly no matter how we love each other.

“Yup,” Clarke replies and Octavia huffs looking away. Raven cackles like a goddamned possessed woman and Aden smiles patting Octavia on the back. Clarke looks on apologetically, but it is evident that Octavia’s eyes are smiling regardless of her scrunched up face.

 

//

Lexa steps out of her last class thanking the early bell and stops dead in her tracks when she edges the parking lot. Raven, Octavia, Clarke and her brother are all standing there chatting like long lost friends catching up after forever apart. Something shifts inside Lexa’s chest and she clenches her fist. How can Clarke just come here and pretend not to know her and then proceed to talk to her friends. How can she think that was fair?

Lexa knows she’s being irrational, but she’s pissed. She saw Clarke die. She’d grieved and then she was here, waiting. For years she’d waited, never giving up hope. Never dating either because even though she wasn’t sure how she’d gotten here she was sure she was reincarnated to find Clarke again. So she never wasted her time with all those other students who’d propositioned her or wanted to date her, because she’d been waiting. Clarke was here now and she was pissed that Clarke didn’t remember her. She was pissed that Clarke probably though she was a mental patient. She was pissed that Clarke shouted at her. She was pissed that she hadn’t figured out what she would’ve said before she’d approached her. She was pissed at Clarke, but she was more pissed at herself for being an emotional idiot as usual. She looked up again, throwing a glance at the group and she saw Clarke’s brother watching her intently, almost as if his eyes were trying to tell her something important. Clenching her fists once more she stormed off in the opposite direction headed for home.

At least at home she thought as she walked, she’d be able to be by herself and wallow in her misfortune. Definitely not a misfortune that Clarke was alive, but everything else, yes. Where the hell did she even get a brother Lexa wondered? She was an only child before. She also had her memories before Lexa quipped at herself, and then another voice quickly chided, but she was also dead before. Lexa sighed. She couldn’t have everything it seemed. Sometimes when she thought like this, she still felt connected to the other commanders, like they were still in her head guiding her. She hadn’t heard them in a while though. Her mind went back to Clarke as she walked. She’d definitely have to get her back, but how? Clarke didn’t remember her and two, she also thought she was crazy. Lexa thought of how hard it was to be with Clarke initially.

_How she’d look at Clarke across the War table, or on their rides, or literally all the time, hoping her eyes said what she couldn’t. How she’d trusted Clarke when she said they would defeat the Mountain. How she’d kissed Clarke and been told not yet. How she had turned Clarke into a monster, a killer, a fearsome force to reckon with, both among the Sky People and the Twelve Clans. How Clarke had stayed. How she had kneeled before Clarke, pledging her fealty. How Clarke had come to her and kissed her, saying goodbye, wiping away Lexa’s tears and finally giving in. How they’d made love like it was their first meeting, soft and shy, but fierce, determined and tender. How they’d experienced each other like in stages now colliding. How it was beautiful because the sun had hit Clarke’s body just the right way and Clarke had touched her and understood that right now just wasn’t their time, but had loved her just the same. How Lexa had woken up and Clarke wasn’t there. How she had gone to Clarke’s room and burst through the door upon hearing Titus’ voice on the other side. How she had been afraid. How she was shocked and in pain when she felt the bullet tear her flesh. How she had watched Clarke’s face fall and contort and then Clarke had rushed to hold her. How she had whispered may we meet again and Clarke was sobbing violently above her. How she’d woken up to Clarke in her place and immediately understood the brokenness she had seen in Clarke’s face when the bullet had hit her. How she’d banished Titus from her room and called out to every entity above and below to help her. To bring her back to her lost love. How she’d felt like Orpheus losing her lover and needing to rescue and save Clarke. How she’d ended up here, and how she didn’t know what to do._

Lexa’s phone beeped and she pulled it out realizing she was standing at her door. As she moved inside, she opened the group chat.

 

**Group Chat: GROUNDERS**

**RavingReyes –** Where you @ Woodsie?!

 **RavingReyes –** got your girl here!

 **RavingReyes –** She’s cute!

 **RavingReyes –** A bombshell! And you know I love anything that goes BOOM! Lol.

 **OctaO –** Lexa! OMGeeeee! She’s sooooooo nice!

 **OctaO –** Her bro Aden tho— fuck me!

 **RavingReyes –** we both know you ain’t hitting that O!

 **OctaO –** Ofc I could!

 **RavenReyes –** Sureeeeee, and I can play ball again with my bum leg!

 **OctaO –** Whatever Rae! Back me up here Lexaaaaaaaa…

 **RavingReyes –** Yo Woodsie, where u @?

 **OctaO –** Lexa?

 **Lexa –** You can have her…

 **RavingReyes –** what the fuck!

 **OctaO –** we’re coming over.

 

Lexa sighed heading up the stairs. She threw her bag down as she entered her room and catapulted into the bed. How did they even know she was home? She glanced at her side table and saw the clock saying 5:00 p.m. Lexa huffed, well of course she had no life, so where else would she be at 5:00 p.m. on a school day. This was going to be a long night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A poet really, but trying my hand at FanFic because god I love the Clexa universe and the new season started and I'm torn. HMU on Instagram @gravity_stephens or, my blog @ www.gervannastephens.wordpress.com


	3. Flashbacks and Awkward Moments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raven and Octavia are up to something. Aden remembers. Lexa and Aden talk? Awkward things happen and somebody kisses somebody. Angst. So much miscommunication and once again, teeny tiny angst.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These things are sooooooo not logical in my head, but I hope you like them just the same. I don’t have a Tumblr account (sorry), but you can always chat with me on IG (@gravity_stephens). Can’t wait to read all your comments and suggestions. Cheers!

 

Rae and O had just left. She'd told them what happened. How she'd mistaken Clarke for someone else and how Clarke scolded her like a child. They'd decided to help. The gods must've hated her to have these damn “Evil Knievel” twins stepping in. Knowing that she couldn't stop them though, she just listened to them ramble mostly about Raven's awesomeness; more like a damn big ego. She had kicked them out— telling them to update her tomorrow.

 

Now alone, Lexa tossed and turned in bed completely unaware of what to do. She picked up the poem she had been working on, the one she had thought was finished and scratched out the last few lines. The ending needed to be different. Sighs left her mouth more than breaths and her last thought before drifting off, was a vision of blue; bright and sparkling and as far out of her reach as the sky.

 

//  
Aden was restless. He had seen Lexa in the parking lot earlier in the day. Saw Clarke chatting with those brunettes from earlier and he saw his parents getting home early from that stupid conference. He saw red now though, as he drifted in and out of sleep. It was like being under anesthesia but not fully and his consciousness was floating around while he was supposed to be in dreamland probably having some sort of wet dream about anyone, anyone at all. He felt his body heating up, and sweat pooling as vision of a scarred earth raged in his mind. He wasn’t in control and his mind carried him to another time; definitely not the wonderland he’d imagined.

 

                _She was commander of an Earth that had survived a nuclear explosion. Her spirit would’ve chosen him as the next commander— she’d died. He was killed before being able to get the flame and his spirit was sent to the City of Lights. He didn’t look like he did now. He wasn’t as old either. He’d seen everything happen, as if being able to see the past, present and future. He’d seen Lexa get shot and seen Clarke trade places with her; take the flame and take her wound and take her death. He watched as Lexa came to and was broken. How she called out to anyone for help. He remembers seeing the Red Woman reach out to her, telling her to accept the Lord of Light or the City of Lights, he never heard her clearly. He’d heard the deal though— sacrifice herself to the flame. He ached to help her, to be there for his mentor; to not fail her again. He’d promised both her and Clarke to continue protecting Clarke’s people when he became Commander. He remembers waking up different— appearance, thoughts, and place. He was in another life and as soon as the realization came, it slowly drifted and forgetfulness of his past became his new pillow to sleep on. He forgot everything, but the importance of green. He thought it had been because it represented life and innocence— but it was her— Heda._

Aden wakes up with a start. Sitting up in his bed, chest heaving, breaths coming short and sweat soaking his pillow and sheets. He remembered. He didn’t know why now, but he remembered. He was supposed to serve and protect Heda as he was meant to do in the past and he had to start now.

 

//  
When Lexa got to school that morning, she was barely in time with the bell, and it rung as she slipped into the halls. She was late for class. Her mom had decided to give her a speech on proper safety when home alone etc., etc., because when her mother had arrived home, the front door had been left unlocked by Lexa of course, and she had listened absently praying her mother would see it fit to just kill her now. She loved her parents, but she hated her mother’s speeches, and they always came at the most inopportune times. Her dad just smiled at her when this happened, nodding silently, his way of saying don’t worry she won’t argue forever. Lexa sighed. She was commander once, but here, she was just a kid. No army, no different language, or no black blood making her chosen. Nothing. From the side she saw Aden watching her and hurriedly made her way to class. The teacher gave her a glare and she ducked her head rushing to her seat. She hated math anyway, no need to pay attention, so she let her thoughts drift.

She'd had a Nightblood in training called Aden when she was commander, but she didn't know what happened to him after the bullet-Titus-Clarke-Reincarnation saga. She had mentored him, just like how Anya had mentored her. Her spirit would’ve chosen him and maybe he did become commander like how she wasn’t there anymore. She hoped he was alright. It was strange that this version of Clarke had a brother with the same name. Aden had been younger though, definitely not 18 and even if he had come back too, why would he look like Clarke? She contemplated watching the movie Freaky Friday when she got home, in order to learn more about body swapping and all, before putting it out of her thoughts. He looked at her with recognition in his eyes every time, and Lexa didn’t know what to do with that.

She jotted down the home work quickly, and almost ran out of the class. She had chemistry next but she was eager to see Clarke, if only from afar and this was one class closer to Kane’s. It was her fault after all that the girl thought she was a psycho. Once again she caught Aden staring at her and when she took her seat it was obvious he wasn't going to knock it off. She wanted to know why he was looking at her, but other than outright ask him she figured she wouldn't know and for now it would be best to let things be. Throwing him from her mind, she focused on whatever Kane was saying but kept being distracted by blonde hair in front and Octavia whispering to her in the back. Her phone buzzed, finally capturing her attention and she let her eyes drop to her lap in order to respond.

  
**OctaO –** did you hear what I said?  
**Lexa –** no was actually paying attention.  
**OctaO –** sureee you were  
**OctaO –** We have a surprise for u at lunch.  
**Lexa –** then why wouldn't you message in the group?  
**OctaO –** it's a secret. Raven’s plan is a go.  
**Lexa –** you ppl are gonna kill me.  
**OctaO –** you love me!  
**Lexa –** now even that is too gay for me.  
**OctaO –** whatever *middle finger*

Lexa had class with Raven next and she was sure the girl would stick too close to her. They had something up their sleeves she knew and now Octavia just confirmed it. She walked into her chemistry class, ditching Aden and his stares again, to see Raven— red bomber jacket on making a loud statement in the class as usual, smirking at her. Yeah, this was going to be a long day. By the time the class ended for lunch, Raven who had been sitting beside her was nowhere in sight. Lexa huffed. Her friends were trying to kill her, of that she was sure. She made her way to the cafeteria, eager to get the mac n’ cheese before it got soggy and was just buttered pasta. As she walks in, her eyes flick automatically to the table she and her friends occupy and she sees Clarke and Aden sitting with them. Clarke is beautiful her thoughts immediately acknowledge. Of course Lexa grimaced. This was their big idea. Their surprise. Sigh. It wasn’t happening and Lexa took off almost at a jog out of the cafeteria, her sneakers barely making a sound on the tiles, as she made her way straight towards the library. Her friends were assholes, loveable assholes, but still asses.

It didn’t take long for lunch to run its course and Lexa heard the bell signaling the next period shrill loudly in the library through the headphones she had plugged in her ears; it seemed 21 Pilots wasn’t loud enough to block out the torment of the bell. She heads out and the first thing she sees is Aden in the hall. She clenches her fists pissed at not knowing why this boy was staring at her like she had kicked his puppy and she decided enough was enough. Lexa storms over toward him and watches his eyes widen and as she is about to open her mouth, he drags her into an empty classroom.

“Look, if you’re here to defend your sister go ahead and be quick, but if you try to hit me you’ll regret it!” Lexa rambles loudly, voice pitched like she was in control of the entire situation and had not just been manhandled by a stranger, “I’m perfectly coordinated and trained in fighting and will kick your blonde ass—” Lexa is cut off by something Aden says and her thoughts go wild, but she can’t be sure she heard him right.

“What!?” she’s confused and staring, mouth agape, hands clenching and he repeats.

“Heda,” he whispers it out like a prayer and she falters. The commander of 12 fucking clans hesitates, because she’s been on this earth for four years (at least consciously aware of that timeline) and no one had any clue that she’d had another life. Now he’s bowing though and she can’t have that and she tries to grab him to stop him, but the door opens and he stumbles forward falling into her. They collapse in a Lego pile of limbs, and his hand stretches out to steady himself and he accidentally grabs her boob and she flushes and his ears go red. The sound of a shutter is what Lexa hears next before she can untangle herself and she shoves him off, storming out of the room. Lexa beelines it back to the library. She can’t do this today, maybe not ever. She heads straight for the history section, throws her bag down and sinks to the floor; arms and legs crumbling like crust from a tart.

/  
“What the fuck is this!” she hears and feels a phone being shoved into her face. She sees Clarke above her and her eyes widen. She tries to crawl away, but the phone is pushed to her again. She grabs it and her cheeks flame, her mouth dropping. She’s splayed on the floor, Aden is above her with his thigh between her legs and his hand is on her boob. It looks more sexual than it was. It looks bad— shit. She looks at Clarke and her face is angry and eyes biting, so she looks away from the kneeling girl in front of her.

“Are you some kinda perv?” Lexa hears her start again, “I mean me yesterday, now groping my brother today! Or is it that you just have a thing for blondes or twins or—”

“Lexa,”

“What?!”

“Lexa. That is my name. At least use it if you’re gonna come at me while I’m defenseless in the History section.”

 

//  
Clarke’s eyes stop pressing knives to Lexa’s throat and she just stares blankly at this girl— Lexa. She doesn’t know what to say anymore, because green bore into her apologetic and afraid, like Lexa didn’t want to piss her off and she calms somewhat. There was pleading and recognition and hurt in her eyes and Clarke stopped.

“It was an accident. We fell and then some idiot came in and made assumptions and took a photo Clarke,” she hears Lexa say this and she can only think that the way her name sounds coming from Lexa’s mouth is causing all those initially inappropriate thoughts she had when the girl had chased her yesterday— before realizing she was psycho— to come rushing back to her head and the pit of her stomach coiled: ready to attack. Her voice is crisp and just breathy enough tinged with remorse, so that Clarke knows she is telling the truth. She doesn’t know exactly how she knows, but she’s silent and watching green eyes watch her— the library is silent and the air is charged. She doesn’t want to admit it, but she feels it. There is a shift in dynamics— green eyes caress her lips and she flicks her tongue out to wet them. Lexa gasps and Clarke’s eyes watch her throat bob from gulping too hard.

Lips crash onto hers then, heavy and hard and hungry, and Clarke falls back into her bag which she’d dropped on the ground when she came in. Clarke stills for a minute with Lexa on top of her prodding, then she shoves, pushing her away and trying to get to her feet. She hears Lexa mutter a curse word and she looks up to see Lexa’s pupils blown, chest heaving, breath ragged, cheeks flushed and eyes darting from Clarke to the exit. She’s afraid Clarke notes, but she’s also turned on. Craving is brimming in her expression. Blue and Green meet and Clarke feels whatever force they created in the room pull her. It’s a yank really, so Clarke grabs Lexa and kisses her hard, shoving her tongue into her mouth and Lexa is on her immediately. Lexa’s hand grabs her neck holding her in place. She opens her mouth and their tongues fight, their moans slide down each other’s throat, licking like fire as they devour lips and saliva and heavy breaths. Clarke feels herself falling, like a comet crashing to the ground after spending almost a hundred years in a vacuum of space without these eruptive sensations, and she pulls away. She rips herself from this girl— Lexa, and not daring a last look at the trembling girl that was just under her flesh, she grabs her bag, jumps shakily to her feet and leaves the library.

She, Clarke Griffin, was fucked.


	4. Jealousy/Confusion/Meddling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke thinks too much. Aden and Lexa finally talk. Clarke gets jealous. Clarke and Aden chat. Octavia and Raven meddle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still haven’t watched the 1st or 2nd episodes of the new season yet. Is it weird that I’m super scared to watch them? Anyway, you guys definitely help make my day with your comments and feedback and kudos. The comments on the last chapter were funny. Keep ‘em coming. Hope you like this chapter.

Clarke finds herself missing another period of classes and figures that her parents are definitely going to freak when the Principal finally calls. It was only her first week of school after all. Lexa had kissed her. She’d kissed Lexa. Was this the same Lexa Octavia said she would like? Because she hated Lexa, but kissing her was indescribable. Clarke sighed and kicked a stone out of her way. She needed to talk to Aden. He would understand. If anything he must have an explanation for that picture she’d received. She tried not to think of how any of her classmates had even gotten her phone number to begin with. The picture looked like Aden was pursuing Lexa, but she knew he wouldn’t do that to her. Clarke scolded herself, why would he know that, it’s not like she liked her. Yep, she was utterly fucked.

This reminded her of back in sophomore year when Julie Anders had only hung out with her in order to get closer to Aden. She and Julie had messed around occasionally till the girl had shouted loud enough for the entire cafeteria to hear that she wasn’t a lesbian and that Clarke was to leave her alone with her Sapphic attempts. Clarke had stormed out of the cafeteria, tears on the verge of falling and Aden had come to her rescue. Promptly telling Julie to back off and he’d made sure that at least for the rest of the school year she was single as fuck for messing with his sister. Clarke didn’t know what he said to those guys who liked her, but she’d almost started feeling sorry for Julie when guys started smirking and laughing wildly when she walked by. Clarke knew Aden would do anything for her, even be a complete douchebag. It bothered her sometimes, but that side of him only came out when she was threatened. Sigh.

Clarke made her way back to the parking lot. She needed to talk to Aden before she got home, because her parents hearing this conversation would freak out and not leave things be. She walked into the parking lot eyes scanning for their vehicle and stopped when she saw Aden and Lexa. Aden was leaning against the Prado and Lexa was standing mouth open listening to something he was saying. Clarke fumed. What the hell was happening? She turned on her heel. Lexa had kissed her. Swooned the fuck out of her with her lips, and then proceeded to find her brother. Wow.

 

//  
Lexa had been left in the library gaping like an idiot. She was confused with herself, and she was confused with Clarke. She never expected to kiss Clarke, she was bent on leaving her alone at least for a while. Their argument had stirred up old feelings in her though, of their first meeting and of how Clarke wanted to kill her after the mountain. It was like Clarke was Wanheda again and Lexa couldn’t have resisted any longer after Clarke had licked her lips. She dived in to be rejected as she’d expected, but she hadn’t cared. What had shocked her was Clarke kissing her after shoving her away. Clarke running away after that though was very much expected. She sighed. She’d thought of going after her. She didn’t.

Lexa made her way out of the library, popping her headphones back in and rounded the corner with her fingers dancing against her leg to see Aden going through the doors.

“Aden!” she called after him and quickly ran over to him before she lost her nerve. She needed to know what he knew and how he was involved. He turned around and looked at her plaintively before motioning with his head outside. Lexa followed behind him. She didn’t know where he was going, but she went regardless. They came to stop at the blue Prado she had seen him and Clarke sitting in the previous day. He turned to face her now and leaned against the van ankles crossing. She looked at him then. He looked like the spitting image of Clarke, except for the spot above her lip and the shorter hair. His eyes were just as piercing, as blue and as mesmerizing. The tilt of his lips were not Clarke’s though. His were a subtle smugness, not the coy shyness or innocence of Clarke. Their faces may have been the same, but Clarke and he were different. She saw the difference. She felt it in how they stood, the rise of their shoulders, the set of their mouth and even though Aden’s eyes were just as blue as Clarke’s, his were more open for she couldn’t read Clarke’s as easily.

“Heda,” he started and she butt in quickly.

“Why are you calling me that?”

“I know. I know everything that happened Lexa kom Trikru,”

“That’s impossible!” Lexa started again and she was waving her hands like it helped to carry her message across. Aden told Lexa everything he remembered from his dream, how he’d forgotten everything till he’d seen her at school yesterday and how he figured he came back different in order to help Clarke. Lexa stood mouth open as he revealed all he knew and thought. She couldn’t believe she wasn’t the only one to remember. She couldn’t believe that all this was real. Clarke was here, her prayers had been answered. Clarke might not have remembered, but it was her Clarke. Aden remembering gave Lexa the hope she needed that maybe Clarke’s memory would be triggered soon enough. Aden was here though, and she grabbed him hugging him, planting her face in his shoulder. Aden was stiff beneath the embrace, before slowly hugging her back. He finally felt like he had everything he needed. His sister and now his mentor— maybe best friend would be a better word he thought.

 

//  
Clarke bolted straight over to the Prado the minute she realized Lexa had gone. Aden was standing there with a stupid grin on his face and she lost it.

“Got her to agree to fuck you yet!” she spat at him and saw him flinch.

“What are you going on about?” he asked innocence sweetening his words and Clarke saw red.

“Are you kidding me Aden?! I told you about her! How I thought she flirted with me! Why would you— fuck!”

Aden finally understood where Clarke was going with this and he shook his head. Why would Clarke think he wanted to sleep with Lexa? Lexa who was in love with her, even though she just didn’t remember it. Subconsciously she liked Lexa, he realized, but she didn’t understand why; so of course she’d behave crazy. Aden huffed. He was in the middle of this now.

“Clarke,” he began tentatively and stepped towards her flailing arms. Yes, she was pissed. “I wouldn’t do that to you, you know that.”

Clarke sighed, dropping her arms and sinking to the pavement. She felt arms around her and heard the van door open. Aden deposited her into the passenger seat and rounded to the driver’s seat. She couldn’t be here right now and he couldn’t take her home. They were still new to the area and he didn’t know anywhere quiet to take her, so he just drove.

“Clarke,” he tried again, “I’m sorry. Nothing happened with Lexa.”

“I saw the picture,” he heard her whisper out like her breath was being stolen from her and if she spoke any louder things would become too real. He exhaled and focused on the road.

“That was an accident Clarke. I fell when the door to the room opened. Some jackass took a picture,” he tapped his fingers on the steering wheel watching her as she watched the road. She fiddled with her fingers and he knew she was thinking, probably trying to figure out what to say next.

“I know,” he heard her breathe again and his head snapped up.

“Then why the hell are you attacking me Clarke!?” he swerved the van accidentally and cursed. “I’m your brother for Christ’s sake, of course I know you like her and I wouldn’t ever do that to you.”

“I don’t—” she stopped. He saw her look back down at her lap. He couldn’t even be pissed, because he was positive she didn’t understand why she was acting like this. It was the bond they had he could only presume, but Clarke couldn’t remember and it was driving her crazy. Sigh. He also couldn’t tell her.

“I don’t like her,” Clarke continued once more.

“Don’t gimme that bullshit Clarke! You literally wanted to kill me. YOUR BROTHER who you’ve known forever, over a girl you just met yesterday!” he bit out harsher than he had wanted to, but he was hurt. If only she knew how all of this was her fault. He huffed and brought the vehicle to a stop at the side of the road. Aden turned to Clarke and grabbed her hands. She recoiled from him and he waited. Her eyes slowly looked up to his, and he leaned forward and kissed her forehead.

“I’m sorry for snapping at you Clarke. I understand how you feel regarding Lexa,” her eyes widened at him, and he chuckled, “noooo, not like that, I have no intention ever of sleeping with her, but I do feel drawn to her. Like maybe I knew her once. I don’t know how to explain it. I want to be her friend though. Do you think you could handle that?”

Aden watched Clarke look away and towards the sky again. She looked ready to jump out of the vehicle and he laughed silently. Typical Clarke, wanting to run away from her feelings, but tell her to save a million people from the apocalypse and she sure as hell would never look away. This was his sister and he loved her. Lexa may be his Heda, but he was sent here to have protected Clarke, not Lexa. His duties had changed. He saw that now, and if Clarke didn’t want him and Lexa being friends then he would never hurt Clarke, not even in duty to his commander. In this world his ‘commander’ was his fealty to his sister; the other half of his soul.

“She kissed me,” Clarke said almost as a whisper.

“Well that escalated quickly,” he chuckled, ducking as Clarke punched at him. Least the mopey version of her was slowly receding.

“I don’t know A, it’s like my inner chi is drawn to her— like I can’t help myself!” Clarke sighed so loudly Aden felt it kind of shake the van a bit, “I feel like I’m moving way too fast, but I don’t wanna stop! Like my body knows something I don’t…”

Clarke continued trying to explain and Aden listened intently, never stopping her or prodding her when she paused. He listened to his sister tell him how confused she was. How she was sure Lexa was crazy. How when she had kissed her it felt like she had been coming home finally, after years of orbiting earth. He listened and squeezed her hand tighter, brushing the tears that sprung from her eyes away. When she finally sobered up, he started the van once more and headed them home. It was well past the ending of school and the parental units could not question them coming home early and then find out about the skipping class, unless the principal called. He really hoped that the principal didn’t call. As they made their way out of the van, Aden was pulled into a tight hug by Clarke and he quickly hugged her back.

“Yes, you can be her friend,” Clarke whispered in his ear and he smiled.

“Thank you Clarke,” and he squeezed her tighter.

 

//  
“You’ve been added to **Long Into the Abyss** ” Lexa looked at her phone when it buzzed and shook her head.

**Lexa –** why do we need two group chats?

**RavingReyes –** you gotta admit the name is awesome

**OctaO –** Ikr! Thumbs up to meeeeee!

**Lexa –** right. You guys are weird. Sorry I missed lunch today.

**OctaO –** nah it’s cool. Clarke was there.

**Lexa –** I know. I saw and kinda just bolted.

**RavingReyes –** figures! Lol. Did you at least slip and fall and break something to pay for ditching us.

**Lexa –** ha ha ha. Bite me Reyes.

**RavingReyes –** while you may be hot asf. Not my type Woodsie! *sticks out tongue*

**OctaO –** Lol. You guys are cracking me up.

**OctaO –** why’d you bolt though Woods?

**RavingReyes –** leave her alone O.

**OctaO –** I know she said she made a fool out of herself, but come on, it’s not like you like her so it shouldn’t matter. You’re lame Rae. I’m sure if we were talking about Aden you’d wanna hear. Lol.

**RavingReyes –** Oh you’re going down! Yo Woodsie that was a cute pic you had going on with my future baby daddy, but am gonna need you to cut it out.

**OctaO –** ha ha ha. Oh gosh! You gotta admit the pic was kinda hot!

**Lexa –** guys come on, the pic was a mistake! And ofc it matters what she thinks of me. Fuck! It’s like am drawn to her you know, like I know her somehow, like I could make her happy if she didn’t think I was a mental patient you know. And her lips are so soft. I’m screwed guys.

**OctaO –** you kissed her! Shit! When? This is too good.

**RavingReyes –** you’re welcome Woodsie!

**Lexa –** welcome for what? What are you talking about?

**RavingReyes –** omg! I wish I could see the look on your face now!

**Lexa –** Raven fucking Reyes!

**RavingReyes –** you got that right! Not my type again tho! Scroll up though, am sure you’ll see your type for sure.

Lexa scrolled to the top of the chat to see “ _Clarke Griffin and Aden Griffin have been added to **Long Into the Abyss.** ” _Fuck! Not only did she make a fool of herself in person twice, but she’d managed to do it again via text. She was gonna kill Raven and Octavia. Her eyes widened when she saw somebody typing.

_“Clarke Griffin is typing…”_

Lexa felt her heart beating wildly. Her ribcage was a failing prison not able to manage the thuds and she closed her eyes. Clarke was taking a long time to type and that could only mean one thing. Rejection again. Obviously whoever sent her to this reality for a second chance hated her a lot. This was torture and she couldn’t take it anymore.

_“Lexa has left the group.”_

She didn’t need to know what Clarke was going to say. She could only take so much, past commander or not. She felt her phone buzz again and picked it up, _“Message from: Unknown number.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Busy weekend coming up, hence why this chapter was early.  
> Next chapter, expect Clarke and Lexa to talk...  
> Cheers!


	5. Art Work

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys. Not really a chapter, but I was just messing around with Photoshop and voila, some simple artwork totally popped up! Lol.  
> I hope you like it.   
> New chapter will be posted on Thursday.  
> Till then, swoon @ Clarke's eyes that don't remember Lexa.

[](http://imgur.com/PR8RSdD)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You are free to share.
> 
> Remember to follow me over @ IG gravity_stephens
> 
> Cheers!


	6. Respond to me Unexpectedly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically Clarke and Lexa talk and are nervous wrecks for no reason at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all your kudos and comments so far. Just a few more chapters till the end I promise.  
> Enjoy.

_“Message from: Unknown number.”_

Lexa sat on the edge of her bed looking down worryingly at her phone. She definitely was going to kill Raven and Octavia the next time she saw them. Their schemes kept making her look like an idiot. Her phone vibrated again and again. Lexa threw it on the bed out of her hand and went downstairs. The house was empty as usual. Her mom, Becca Pramheda-Woods was working late, being CEO of Pramheda Enterprises did that to a person Lexa guessed. Especially when they were supposedly creating new technology that could _change the face of the world_. Those were her mom’s favourite words. Lexa shook her head and opened the fridge attempting to find something edible. Her dad wasn’t any better than her mom, except that maybe he was human. Lincoln Woods was an MMA fighter and personal security for a number of respected politicians in the city. They had odd hours. Most times Lexa didn’t mind, but right now she wished she could talk to her dad, even if he would only nod and tell her “Ge smak daun, gyon op nodotaim.” It translated roughly to _get knocked down, get back up_. That was his motto. So far it had worked for him and her. Lexa slammed the fridge door and stalked back to her room. It was only a stupid text message she thought grabbing the phone and unlocking the screen.

 **Unknown number:** what makes you feel drawn to me?

                                        Why’d you exit the group?

                                        Are you ignoring me?

                                        Fine. This doesn’t help me not think you’re a mental patient btw.

Lexa read the messages and chuckled at the last one. What was she supposed to say? She’d longed for Clarke for so long and finally she was here. Different, but here. She was bound to screw it up, but maybe Clarke messaging her was an indication that things could be salvaged. She sighed and saved Clarke’s number to her contacts. As she was thinking of what to type back another message came in.

 **Clarke:** this is Clarke Griffin btw.

Lexa figured she’d play it cool and so quickly typed out a message and pressed send before she could change her mind.

 **Lexa:** I should’ve figured, as you’re the only one who thinks am mental.

 **Clarke:** are you sure? You are kinda strange.

 **Lexa:** careful, I might take offense.

 **Clarke:** go ahead, lol. It’ll allow me to see the breathing techniques you learned when you were locked up.

Lexa laughed when she read Clarke’s message and quickly responded.

 **Lexa:** might require us spending some time together, you know, so you get it properly. Ensure your technique is on point.

 **Clarke:** I assure you Lexa Woods, my technique has been perfected.

Lexa gulped at that last message. Clarke was flirting with her. Maybe shit had not hit the fan after all.

 **Lexa:** meet me tomorrow. I wanna explain.

The previous replies had been almost instantaneous, but now Clarke didn’t answer for a while. Lexa decided that she wouldn’t panic. She took out her Math notes and decided that now was as good a time as any to get the homework done.

 

//  
**Lexa:** meet me tomorrow. I wanna explain.

Clarke looked at her phone screen unsure of what to say. The message taunted her. Yes she’d been flirting with the girl a minute ago, but now Lexa made things serious. If Clarke met her, she’d have to talk. Talk about the kiss. Talk about how confused she was. Talk about how she felt just as drawn to Lexa. Talk about how in new situations her go to response was anger. Talk about how that had been her response in the group message— _meet me. I’ll let you explain_ — is what she’d sent not realizing Lexa had left the group. Clarke sighed and threw her phone onto her bed and made her way downstairs.

“What’s wrong babygirl?” Clarke looked over her shoulder to see her dad coming into the kitchen. She tried throwing him a smile, but it came out unconvincingly.

“I don’t know. I’m fine,” she tried brushing it off.

“Clarke?”

“It’s just been a rough couple days,” she said and heard her dad sigh loudly.

“I’m sorry about the move babygirl. I know it’s affecting you,” Clarke could see her dad meant what he said. Back in LA Jake Griffin had been lead engineer for Ark Tech, but he had found out about some faulty equipment being recycled in order to spend less money and keep investors happy and of course her dad was a good guy, so he spoke to his boss about it. Long story short, he was fired. When Pramheda Enterprises lost its lead engineer (no one died), her dad couldn’t pass up the opportunity and her mom, Abby, easily got a job at the hospital here. Why a big technology company was based in such a small town as Forks, Clarke was still unable to understand, but her parents had to move and she understood that. She didn’t like it, but she understood it.

“No dad. It’s not that, not really at least. I understand really,” Clarke quickly told her dad. She made her way over to him and hugged him. She loved her family, regardless of where they lived even if it was Forks, the dampest center of the earth. While she could tell her dad anything, the Lexa situation was not something she wanted to talk about just yet. She was still unsure what she wanted to do about the girl. She was sure as hell that she needed to kiss her again, but she wasn’t sure that she could handle talking to her. Clarke easily changed the conversation and allowed her dad to talk about his first set of work days. He seemed excited and happy. She was glad he was okay, for the last set of days after he’d been fired had been painful to see. She was glad things had turned around. She was also glad that her mom didn’t work as much here. She was still a surgeon and still getting paid as such, but the work load in Forks was way lighter than LA and more times than not, she would be able to be home. By the time Aden and her mom had joined the conversation, there were two empty pizza boxes and boxes of juice lying around the kitchen and Clarke decided right there that maybe Lexa could get a second chance. After all, Aden wanted to be friends with her so she would be around. As she got back to her room, she grabbed her phone and sent off a text to Lexa. Clarke fell asleep to the sound of laughter echoing downstairs and the soft light of her phone.

 

//  
Her phone buzzed, and Lexa jumped up spinning around the room. She’d fallen asleep at her desk. She looked at her alarm clock on the bedside and the time blared 1:05 a.m. in bright red. Pushing away from the desk, Lexa took off her jeans and got under the covers in just her shirt. She located her phone and scrolled to the messaging app.

 **Clarke:** Yes.

That was all the message said, and Lexa didn’t bother with a reply. She had Kane’s Literature class with Clarke tomorrow and decided to talk to her then. She was nervous going to sleep, unsure of if she’d be able to talk to Clarke and explain without sounding crazy.

Lexa woke to the sound of the door slamming. Her parents had left. Her alarm hadn’t gone off yet, but her nervousness was still there and she figured it must be the reason she was awake. She got out of bed and decided to start the getting ready process. She was out the door in no time and started her walk to school. Raven and Octavia always laughed at her for walking to school rather than driving when they knew who her parents were. True, Lexa had her pick of vehicles to drive anywhere, but she liked the walk. It allowed her to clear her head before tackling the day and the school was literally five minutes away from her house. Driving would’ve been pointless and it’s not like she never drove. After failing her driving test 3 times when in fact she was a great driver, she just never saw the big deal.

As she entered the school gates she tapped her fingers to The Weeknd’s _Party Monster_ and figured it was the most ironic thing, but she was good, so she just smiled to herself. She’d also decided that she wouldn’t tell Clarke the truth just yet. For one, she didn’t know how to phrase, _“I died, but then you died and I came back and then got reincarnated into this world where you don’t remember me, but your brother was almost my second in command. Let’s totally date.”_ Yeah, she was unsure how to put that particular story and decided against it. She headed in the direction of the library. It was open now and she still had almost half an hour before the bell rang. She was way too early. Lexa settled into a desk in the corner of the room and decided to finish her math homework.

 

//  
“Clarke. Aden” the calls came from the living room and both siblings looked at each other warily at the top of the stairs before heading down.

“Morning” they both said in unison looking at their parents.

“Remember we have that dinner tonight,” her dad spoke up while nursing his coffee. Their mother was sitting and reading the newspaper, her head nodding as her dad spoke.

“Oh god! Do I have to?” Clarke asked annoyed.

“Yes.” It was their mom who spoke now, clipped and firm, “it’s your dad’s welcome party. You will have the rest of the weekend to yourself Clarke.”

“I’ll have us home on time,” Aden responded, dragging Clarke out the door with a goodbye.

They made their way to school in relative silence and when they parked, Clarke bolted from the van. She made her way to her first class and sat silently as the bell rang. She watched students coming in before the teacher started droning on about biology this and biology that. This was how her first two classes went. The teachers spoke and Clarke ignored them. Her second class though she saw Raven, only speaking to her for a few minutes before the teacher reprimanded them.

Her mind was elsewhere though. Her next class was Kane’s, the one class she shared with Lexa. While she was glad it was Friday, having started school on Wednesday due to unpacking late, she was kind of uneasy about not seeing the brunette the next day. Lexa hadn’t replied to her text, though it was partly her fault for replying so late in the night. Clarke’s foot tapped impatiently. She wanted the bell to ring. She wanted to hear what Lexa would say. She was nervous. Too nervous to pay attention to the teacher or to Raven, and so she started doodling in the margins of her notebook. Clarke Griffin was never nervous, but Lexa had her up in arms. She’d known the girl two days and apparently that was enough to confuse, anger, surprise, make her jealous, unreasonable, and nervous all in one. Clarke was always in control, but this, she had no control over. When she heard the bell, she practically bolted out of her seat and heard Raven chuckling behind her.

Clarke entered the classroom slowly, hoping that her fidgeting and nervousness wouldn’t show. She glanced to the back of the class where Lexa sat and saw her in a heated discussion with Octavia. Clarke figured it was about the whole making-her-confess-her-feelings-in-a-chat-that-she-was-unaware-that-Clarke-had-been-in-thing. Whoa that was a mouthful. She saw Octavia blanch, her eyes widen and then her head nod. Clarke smirked to herself wondering what in heaven Lexa was saying to the girl. She took her seat beside Aden and he grinned at her right as she flipped him off. Apparently everyone was aware of her nervousness. Once again Clarke couldn’t pay attention to what was being said in class and she had to will herself to not turn and look at Lexa during Kane’s speech on the importance of some dead Literature guy. She also had to elbow Aden on occasion to get him to stop laughing at her. He was loving this and she swore she’d get him back. When the bell rang for lunch Clarke settled herself and the uneasiness of her stomach before standing to head out of the class. When she looked up Lexa was already gone and Clarke couldn’t help the sinking feeling that drowned her stomach. Head down she made her way out of the classroom thinking that maybe Lexa had changed her mind.

“Hey,” Clarke turned to the voice behind her and saw Lexa standing there gripping her book bag and staring at her. Clarke was drawn into green and for a minute she could only stare, no words coming.

“Clarke,”

“Yeah. Hi. I thought you’d changed your mind,” Clarke finally got out, and pulled her eyes away to look somewhere safer, like the ground.

“Oh. Did you want me to?” Lexa prodded and Clarke’s head snapped up.

“No! I mean, you were gone when the class ended and I didn’t see you leave, I thought you didn’t want to talk to me— Urrrgh! I’m rambling,” Clarke looked down again after the words left her mouth and she flushed because of course her nervousness was turning her into an idiot.

“It’s okay. It was cute,” and Clarke looked up to see Lexa clamping her mouth shut and the tips of her ears reddening. Now that Clarke thought, was the most stunning sight she’d ever seen. Their eyes locked and Clarke made up her mind for both of them, by grabbing Lexa’s hand and dragging her out the doors.

“Clarke! What are you doing, the cafeteria is the other direction,” Lexa got out as Clarke tugged her behind her.

“We’re not going there,” was the only reply Clarke gave.

“Are you planning to kill me before I can explain?” Lexa asked and Clarke laughed out loud as she stopped by the soccer pitch.

“If I were gonna kill you that would’ve happened yesterday after you basically attacked me,” Clarke said now turning to Lexa and she saw her eyes widen and then fill with apologies, but she said nothing.

“This is where I came yesterday afterwards. Well no, first I went to find Aden, but he and you were getting it on in the parking lot and that’s when I found this spot,” Clarke said hands gesturing to the area around them. She watched as Lexa’s eyes bulged, ears and cheeks filled with blood and she smirked triumphantly. Yes, the ball was back in her court.

 

//  
Lexa gulped. Is that what Clarke thinks happened? That she and Aden hit it off right after she’d kissed her. Oh gosh. She gulped and it was louder than she expected. She squared her shoulders before looking back at Clarke and attempting to start her explanation.

“I’m sorry if kissing you made you uncomfortable. I won’t do it again. I don’t know what came over me. Also I did not hook up with your brother. That is disgusting. Not because of him as a person, but because I am very VERY gay. He and I are starting to be friends I think. Regarding the first time you accused me of being mentally ill though, I can say that I am sorry for that. You just reminded me of someone else it seemed at the time and I wasn’t very clear about what I was saying. I apologize Clarke.”

Lexa ended her harangue with a shaky exhale watching Clarke. Her eyes were smiling, like she wanted to laugh at Lexa and Lexa gritted her teeth. She waited a few more minutes for Clarke to say something, anything at all really, but she only stared at her. Giving up, Lexa turned around walking away.

“So you’re not sorry you kissed me?” she heard the question behind her and stopped turning around.

“I apologized for that already,” Lexa responded looking at Clarke confused.

“No,” Clarke continued, “you apologized for if the kiss made me uncomfortable, not the fact that you kissed me.”

Lexa shifted awkwardly under Clarke’s very matter of fact gaze. It was true, she wasn’t sorry for kissing her. She was more concerned about how the girl felt than the action itself. She was sure her cheeks were showing how uncomfortable she was, but decided that for once she wasn’t going to let her words disappear from her.

“Did I make you uncomfortable?” she asked Clarke, and watched the girl’s eyes look shocked, but then she saw them darken journeying to her lips and then back to her eyes. Obviously that hadn’t been the response Clarke had expected. Lexa stepped towards Clarke and watched her eyes widen in fear it seemed, though it could have been anticipation. She stopped right in front of her waiting on a response, not wanting to push her luck. For even though they had been each other’s person in another time, it hadn’t worked out then, so she needed to tread lightly still. She was waiting for anything, and continuing to watch blue go dark with expectation while staring anywhere and obviously not looking directly at Lexa. Lexa stood there still, waiting.

“Clarke,” she tried again, but it came out husky and needy. Like her voice was being strangled by the need coiling itself in the pit of her stomach and warming her palms.

“No,” she heard Clarke almost whisper out, like her breath was lost and tiny and frail. They were leaning forward now. Lexa felt as much as she saw the hurricane brewing in Clarke’s eyes. She closed the distance at this realization, crashing their lips together. Her tongue flicked over Clarke’s top lip, pressing her lips there, sucking on it as Clarke opened her mouth and invited her in. This kiss was different than their previous almost ravenous encounter. It felt natural. Their tongues were at home against each other, like silken sheets slipping on and off skin and Clarke moaned ragged and deep into Lexa’s mouth causing her to bite Clarke’s bottom lip. Clarke clenched her thighs and her hands fisted into Lexa’s hair bringing her closer. Clarke felt herself falling just like the first time Lexa’s lips had been on hers, and this time she just licked deeper against Lexa’s tongue. This felt right and she felt too turned on to stop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The dinner/welcome party is up next!  
> Supposed to be a sexy affair.


	7. You Make Me Want To...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Welcome party for Jake Griffin to Pramheda Enterprises...ALIE...Texting...Friend times...  
> HALSEY references too...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 3000 hits so far and 130 kudos nice guys.  
> Am I the only one fascinated by the fact that the CLEXA fans are still alive and kicking! Wow!  
> Kudos to all of you!

“Do I have to?” Lexa whined already knowing the answer. She had completely forgotten about the function in between freaking Clarke out, freaking out about Clarke, kissing Clarke and then seeing the girl dart away for class leaving her turned on and aching on the soccer pitch. It seemed that was Clarke’s M.O., turn her on and leave her wanting. They hadn’t spoken since then though. She brought her thoughts back to the now, remembering that there was some welcome party for the new head engineer of the company. She heard her dad laugh out, his hearty boom echoing and she shuffled her feet as her mom approached.

“Yes! Besides, you liked the last engineer,”

“Oh my god mom! That doesn’t count, Alie was my godmother. Of course I liked her!” Lexa countered, but her mom ignored her and continued.

“We’re leaving now, ensure you dress with the theme, it’s black and white. We’re taking the company car, so you’re free to drive whatever you want,” and her mom flitted down the stairs. Her father was next out of the room, all dapper and clean and no sweat like his normal raggedy ‘I am an MMA fighter style.’ He gave her shoulder a squeeze and she half-smiled at him.

“It’s one night kiddo,” and then he made his way to join his wife. Lexa heard the door close and she headed for her room. It was only one night she repeated her dad’s words and started getting ready.

 

/  
Lexa hated these events. The posh, the hypocrisy and the unnecessary flaunting of power. As the heir to Pramheda Enterprises though, she was expected to be here and expected to behave. For said reason, she had not invited Raven and Octavia, because hey she loved her friends, but Octavia would probably hook up with some random, and Raven would probably blow up the new engineer before the opening remarks.

Her mother would definitely not like that. She chuckled to herself remembering how her dad had loved her friends immediately and how her mom had had to warm up to them, especially because Raven was always cooking up trouble in the Woods’ kitchen. This left her mom flustered more often than not and her dad trying to calm the woman to no avail. Yup, good times!

She settled herself at the bar, even though she didn’t plan on drinking because she had to drive home. She did not want to rely on her parents, for they always had to stay late. From her vantage, she could see both the entrance and the stage with ease. The events were just beginning and she heard the host call everyone’s attention. He started with some stupid joke and Lexa watched as the idiots in attendance laughed, oh yes, the hypocrisy begins, because that was sooooo not funny.

Her attention was brought to the entrance when a blonde couple probably her parents’ age entered and were whisked off by the attendants to the head table where her parents sat. One of them must be the new engineer she figured and turned her attention back to the door when red caught her eye.

Standing at the door, were Clarke and Aden. The theme was black and white and they were sporting red. Aden was in full black with a slim red tie and Clarke was on his arm in a devilish red dress; split to die for. Her hair fell around her shoulders like a halo in stark contrast to her eyes that looked more grey than blue, as if they were struggling against the sunset— her hair and dress tried to recreate— not wanting the day to end. The lyrics of Halsey’s ‘ _Colors’_ ran through Lexa’s mind—

 _You're dripping like a saturated sunrise_ (her hair was beautifully golden) _  
You're spilling like an overflowing sink_ (her breasts were attempting suicide in that dress. Yes, her cleavage was very much in attendance and Lexa was staring and Lexa didn’t care)   
_You're ripped at every edge but you're a masterpiece_ (god! she was beautiful)

Blue eyes scanned the room finally locking on hers, and she let out a breath she didn’t even knew she held.

 

//  
Clarke never wanted to attend this function, but her dad needed her support and so here she was. A smile plastered her face and she felt smug in her red dress, a big fuck you to the set theme. Black and white was boring. She’d convinced Aden easily enough to switch his white tie for a red one and so they matched easily. She scanned the room, needing to set herself up in a location completely away from the front. When her eyes reached the bar, she found green staring at her and drinking her in. There was obvious interest there, and Clarke raised an eyebrow smirking.

She hadn’t know that Lexa would’ve been here, but then again, it’s not like they had had a worded conversation. The girl stood by the bar in dark linen pants Clarke noticed. Her hair was in a bun and her neck was more pronounced than when they were at school. Her inside blouse looked like a t-shirt, but her buttoned black jacket took the attention away from it. Clarke smiled because of course only Lexa would try to downplay an event like this; guess they were both rebelling.

She may not have known Lexa long, or at all, but the way she spoke said everything. Like, yes things were important, but their importance was never more than the person and how they felt in the moment of occurrence. She remembered how she'd raged in the library, and though Lexa had been affected, she'd played it off by introducing her damn self and that had shut Clarke up. As the thoughts of what happened next flooded Clarke, a blush creeped up her neck burning as it made its way into her cheeks. She looked away from Lexa and dragged Aden into the room.

 

//  
“I never took you for the wine and dine type,” Clarke said as she came up to Lexa.

“Really? Because you know me so well?” Lexa filled in.

“Touché”

“Heda,” Aden greeted Lexa and Clarke looked at him confused. Lexa nodded in response and then Aden took off leaving them alone.

“Nicknames already?” Clarke asked picking up the drink she ordered as the bartender put it down; she downed it one go.

“Why, wanna give me one?” and Lexa smirked full on when Clarke reddened looking away.

“You didn’t tell me you were gonna be here,” Clarke quickly changed the conversation, preventing herself from looking at Lexa.

“We didn’t do much talking did we?” Lexa countered easily and let her eyes drag to Clarke’s lips proving her point.

“My dad is being welcomed to the company. Why are you here?” Clarke offered, trying her hardest to ignore Lexa’s taunt as she felt her panties moisten. Her voice was raspier than usual as she asked the question.

“Was dragged by my family,” were the only words Lexa offered and they fell into an amicable silence.

Lexa watched Clarke from the corner of her eye, and saw her eyes light up when her father made his way on stage. There was an announcement and Lexa sighed. Clarke was looking at the platform and so she slipped away without a word and made her way on stage to hug her parents and shake the hand of Clarke’s father. There was loud applause from the audience and Lexa didn’t dare looking back in Clarke’s direction as she made her way off stage. She got caught up in a never ending string of persons she had to keep up small talk with, and by the time she got back to the bar Clarke had gone. Lexa slumped onto one of the stools and unbuttoned her jacket. She felt someone sit beside her not seconds later and looking downwards red greeted her.

“I never knew this was your party,” Clarke’s raspy voice said rolling over her.

“It’s actually my mother’s. Would it have made a difference?”

“I guess not,” Clarke responded sipping her drink and letting her gaze roam the crowd.

“We need to—” but Clarke was cut off when the bartender placed a drink in front of her.

“I didn’t order this,” Clarke said to the bartender looking quizzically at the glass and then at the one from which she was drinking.

He pointed to a guy with floppy dark hair around their age at the other end of the bar who was smiling at Clarke. Lexa gritted her teeth when Clarke smiled back at him. Lexa felt a stab of jealousy wrench in her stomach. She wished she was drinking now, for at least that would drown the possessiveness swimming in her gut. This was her Clarke and this Neanderthal was trying— trying what Lexa, she thought, the girl doesn’t even remember you. Clarke isn’t your possession Lexa, and she sighed berating herself for even thinking such things.

“We need to—” and this time, it was Lexa that cut her off. She grabbed Clarke’s hand and pulled her from her stool—

“— dance,” Lexa finished the statement and Clarke only nodded mutely, eyes blown and biting her lip.

Lexa quickly guided them to the center of the room and molded their bodies together. Lexa’s hands found Clarke’s hips and Clarke tangled her hands around Lexa’s neck. They were one in their movements. Lexa’s hand moved further down, dragging along the sides of Clarke’s dress till a hand reached the split in her dress and fingertips grazed her thigh. Clarke moaned in response and grabbed closer to Lexa, tangling her fingers in the tendrils of hair at the nape of Lexa’s neck that couldn’t have reached the bun.

Clarke was worked up and she could feel Lexa on her skin. She could feel Lexa’s breath on her neck and she was sure she’d orgasm from this alone, if they kept touching like this. It was just them. Clarke didn’t care who was watching and she didn’t care if her moans were being sounded loud in the room. When Lexa’s thigh moved between her legs, Clarke’s eyes snapped open to see wolfish eyes observing her and Clarke all but dragged Lexa in the direction of the bathroom.

Clarke locked the door behind her, a cursory glance telling her that the bathroom was indeed empty and she slammed Lexa into the door. Clarke kissed Lexa with an urgency that couldn’t be misread. Her hands going under Lexa’s t-shirt and she felt Lexa grip her hip tight. Fingers were pinching into her flesh and she moaned into Lexa’s mouth shameless and wanton. Her hands were moving upwards and Clarke skimmed the underside of Lexa’s bra as Lexa reached up to Clarke’s neck deepening the kiss and pressing into her body forcefully. Their tongues were licking trails of passion into each other’s mouth and Clarke bit Lexa’s bottom lip as her hand squeezed Lexa’s breast. Clarke felt Lexa tense and she stopped just as she felt the girl beneath her attempting to push her away.

Clarke backed up and the look in Lexa’s eyes said yes, but Lexa’s action was a clear red light and Clarke felt herself shrink. She wanted to run out of the room, but Lexa was still against the door eyes lidded and breaths coming heavy, but rejection in her actions. Clarke looked away from her and made her way to the sink to splash water on her face, thankful now that she hadn’t worn makeup. She’d been stupid. Lexa was some rich kid who obviously thought it was hilarious to play hot and cold with the new girl, but even as Clarke thought that, she knew she was wrong and she knew Lexa would never do that.

Lexa started walking over to her and she backed away. The look in Lexa’s eyes at that action was one of hurt, but Clarke didn’t know how to respond to this. She watched Lexa, how the girl bit her lip and fumbled with her hands and then she saw a dawning in the girl’s eyes. It was like Lexa had a eureka moment and she pinned Clarke with a pleading stare.

“Clarke, I want you…” she started and looked down at the floor, as if testing her footing before continuing, “but, I’m not ready, not yet.”

Clarke could only nod at the girl’s words, trying to stop the despaired look from reaching her face, especially her eyes, but she couldn’’t.

“I want to do this right Clarke. You are not some grimy bathroom fuck,” Lexa said.

She huffed out as if she was afraid of the perceived response, but needed to get the words out anyway. Clarke figured that this girl must definitely be too good to be true or a mental patient for real, because she was just too surreal. Her words right this moment were the sweetest thing anyone had ever said to her. Normally no one cared about where they hooked up, once they were having sex with her, but not Lexa, and this woke something in Clarke.

“First of all, I’m sure your parents would never host a party anywhere that had GRIMY bathrooms,”

Clarke began, and Lexa couldn’t help laughing out loud. It was a stomachache laugh and there were tears brimming in her eyes and her head was thrown back and shaking. She was looking at Clarke like she hung the moon or was a comedian, worthy of a Netflix Special; both of which for Clarke were two top priorities, because who doesn’t love a special.

“Secondly, okay,”

Clarke walks over to Lexa and envelopes her in a hug, arms holding this brunette green-eyed girl who clings to her and who wants to ‘treat her right’ even though she barely knows her. Lexa makes Clarke feel like yes, maybe she couldn’t hang the moon, but she could graze her fingertips on a star’s edge and that would be enough. They stand like that for a while, foreheads pressed deeply in each other’s necks and arms encircling the other, before they head back out to the party.

 

//  
**Clarke:** Why?

Clarke sent off the text to Lexa unable to sleep. She’d had to leave the party early with her parents and though Lexa had offered her a ride home. She'd refused, knowing her self-control was wired and she'd be unable to not jump the girl if alone with her. Her thoughts drifted back to the bathroom and how she’d had Lexa pressed against the wall devouring her. Fuck! She felt herself soak her underwear and even more so when Lexa had told her no- not yet. Her phone vibrated on her stomach and she allowed her hand to drift further as the sensations shot through her. Her hand barely grazed her clit over her underwear when the phone buzzed again, so she stopped and grabbed it.

 **Lexa:** yes Clarke, I did get home safely. Ty for asking. 

 **Lexa:** why what?

Clarke chuckled at Lexa's obvious sarcasm and typed out her response smiling. 

 **Clarke:** ofc you’re okay. Ty for the update.

 **Clarke:** Why do u like me? 

 **Lexa** : because you need somebody to.

Clarke immediately saw red. Did Lexa assume she was some lonely person who needed the affections of a stranger? Yes, she was drawn to Lexa, infinitely so, and she wasn't going to resist it, but Lexa obviously assumed she was some desperate blonde, so her response was bitter. New girl doesn’t mean friendless.

 **Clarke:** Fuck you!

 

\\\  
Lexa had sent her response without question and Clarke's answer was expected. The anger and disdain were evident in her text. Lexa could've almost felt the bite in her words. She started typing and the words came easily. If anyone had said Lexa would be smiling down at her phone at 1 o'clock in the morning she'd have said they were idiots. She'd have also never expected Clarke to be here, so she didn't mind being wrong for once. She pressed send, tucked her phone away and cuddled into her pillows. 

 

\\\  
Clarke felt her phone vibrate and she was not intent on seeing the forest-eyed girl's response. She sighed though, still unable to sleep. She threw her hands up and almost mechanically they reached for the phone.

 

 **Lexa** : I didn't mean to imply that you had no one, nor did I mean to assume that you needed me specifically. You are beautiful Clarke and we may not have met for very long, but there is no sense of weakness in your heart. You are filled with so much that hides behind your eyes, which just like the sky they mirror their color from, can change when your emotions are high. I want to know you Clarke— inside out— hot and heavy— good and bad. I want to experience not just your physical beauty but the aspects of you it highlights. I want your past, present and future if you like? I feel like I already know you though and maybe that's why I've allowed us to move so fast, because I'm drawn to you. I haven't checked in with how this is affecting you though and I’m sorry. It's like the universe has placed a big target on us. I know you feel it too. God! I pray you feel it. Because I felt it even before I attacked your lips, and now I'm just drunk. Swim with me? Where? Anywhere, from we are together the intoxication can takes us wherever. So yeah, not everyone will be able to support your strength, but I want to be that person you never knew you needed. Goodnight Clarke. 

 

Clarke read and re-read Lexa's text. Octavia was right, Lexa was a literature dork. Clarke could only imagine how the subjects of those great poetic pieces must've felt. She felt idolized, though not in a beyond this world sense. It was more a simple adoration, like Lexa was beyond grateful she existed. Clarke felt like she was incapable of phrasing a response that would do justice. She laid still, lips split in a smile, eyes brimming with tears as she typed and pressed send quickly before drifting off to sleep.

 

\\\  
**Clarke** : thank you...

Lexa woke up to Clarke's message and grinned. It wasn't what she'd expected, but at least it proved that Clarke wasn't upset anymore. Saturday's in the Woods’ house were quiet. Her dad had training and her mom usually went off to some spa of the sort to wash off her ‘Monday to Friday Self’ she called it. Lexa was left to her own devices unless there was some company event to attend. This Saturday, she was thankful there wasn't.

**GROUNDERS**

**RavingReyes:** still mad at us?

 **OctaO:** am scared to even type anything

 **RavingReyes:** you just did dummy

 **OctaO:** whatever! Lexa?

 **Lexa:** calm your horses. Blood must not have blood

 **RavingReyes:** yes!

 **RavingReyes:** ha! Told you she'd forgive us. Pay up!

 **OctaO:** urrrghh. U think I'd learn not to bet against you by now

 **Lexa:** u guys are idiots

 **RavingReyes:** we talking alternative facts now?

 **OctaO:** ha ha ha. You're fake news!

 **Lexa:** smh. what's up for today?

 **RavingReyes:** hanging with Aden

 **OctaO:** he invited us over. They have a pool

 **Lexa:** I have a pool

 **RavingReyes:** I can hear the deadpan from all the way over here Woodsie!

 **OctaO:** and besides we've gotten wet in your pool a million times. Besides ur not a super hot guy

 **Lexa:** not what I meant O!

 **RavingReyes:** ha ha ha. Woodsie only got  <3eyes for blondie!

 **Lexa:** whatever. Have fun btw

 **RavingReyes** want us to kiss ur girl for you?

 **Lexa:** touch her and you will die from a thousand cuts Reyes

 **OctaO:** whoa! Lol. Nobody's touching Clarke

 **RavingReyes** I can just imagine your face Woodsie! Lol

 **Lexa:** screw you Reyes!

 **RavingReyes:** still not my type Woodsie give up!

Lexa threw her phone to the side and got up out of bed. She needed to finish her poem today. It was due at the end of next week and Kane was a hard ass with assignments. He'd even told Aden and Clarke that not even they would get an extension. The task was simple though. Choose an emotion and write about it. That was it; an easy A.

She figured she should ask Clarke on a date, but she didn't know how. She also realized that every time they were alone, they basically jumped each other and she would have to make an effort to slow things down. She might want to be with Clarke, but she didn't want them to move too fast and have Clarke regretting things.

 

//  
When Clarke wakes up, there’s no reply from Lexa. It’s a Saturday and she wonders if Lexa would come over with Octavia and Raven, but knowing what she does of the girl in such a short time she doubts it. It’s almost noon and either Raven and Octavia were already here or they were on their way.

When Aden had told her they were to come over, her first response had been instinctual; a very hushed and strained but sharp _don’t screw this up!_ It was obvious they wanted him and she didn’t want anyone getting hurt, especially her brother, but if Aden smudged it up obviously Lexa would choose her friends. She knew Aden liked both girls, but she knew that these things could get super messy.

Clarke headed to the bathroom to complete her morning routine and thoughts of Lexa swarmed her mind like the plague. She felt comfortable around Lexa, and she couldn’t understand it. Maybe they should slow things down, but Clarke figured that that wouldn’t help. She felt she was missing something when she was around the brunette, but then she also felt an ache when she wasn’t. Stupid Clarke. She made her way down the stairs and heard chatter and laughter.

“Hey guys,” she greeted.

Her dad was in the kitchen and she smelled his famous grilled cheese. She was thrown off balance and to the ground when Raven and Octavia ran straight into her. They kept repeating ‘Hi Clarke!’ over and over and all she could do was laugh.

“I swear you guys like her more than me,” Aden piped up as he entered the kitchen, faking a pout.

Clarke pushed them away and she could see why Lexa would love them. They all strolled in the kitchen hand in hand, well Raven and Octavia had sandwiched Clarke and wouldn’t let her go, so yes, hand in hand.

“Can’t help if I’m the better Griffin!” Clarke retorted slapping Aden on his back where he was seated on a stool facing their dad, literally a mirror image.

“Hey dad. Mom at the hospital?”

“Yeah. Emergency early this morning,” he hummed, shoveling sandwiches on plates in front of each of them.

“Dig in girls. If you need anything, I’ll be in my office. Don’t let them drown A,” he laughed as he made his way up the stairs and out of the kitchen.

“Thanks Jake,” both Raven and Octavia called after him.

They were literally stuffing their faces and Clarke just laughed from her seat, watching as Aden looked on in a way that spoke too much, said nothing at all and was just too sweet for a simple breakfast moment.

“Your dad is actually a dad Clarke. Nice,” Raven finally spoke again after swallowing and gulping her juice like she hadn’t ate in, well EVER.

“What?” Clarke asked completely confused as to where the conversation would go.

“Like Lincoln is hot as hell, but he don’t cook and stuff,” she continued.

“Uhm, who?” Clarke tried again, having no clue whatsoever about what she was getting at.

“Daddy Woods!”

Octavia all but preened and screamed between bites and Clarke saw Aden’s face go red. She chuckled and flicked her crust at him. In retrospect, worst idea ever because Aden having already eaten responded by walking around the counter and grabbing Clarke from her seat and walking to the back door.

“Wait! A, no!” Clarke spluttered, “guys he-LP!”

The girls just laughed crazily looking on, Raven hitting Octavia’s back and cackling like the possessed. She hit the water with a loud splash— 10 points for cannonball— and she was submerged immediately, spluttering like a fish and hating her damn brother. She resurfaced as quickly as possible and watched the smug look erupt on Aden’s face.

“Aden Rickon Griffin! I am going to murder you!”

Clarke shouted towards him as she stripped herself of the jeans shorts and t-shirt she’d been almost drowned in. She threw them to the side of the pool and treaded water in her black bikini, watching Raven and Octavia join them and seeing Raven’s mouth drop when the girl spotted her. It was a full on gape, all lustful and dirty. She wriggled her eyebrows at the girl and watched her cheeks flame quickly turning her head. Clarke knew what she looked like. She remembered people fawning over and falling over themselves and her all the time. The attention was fun at times, but right now she wished it was another brunette drinking her in with lustful eyes.

When everyone finally got in the water they splashed and dunked each other, and just were complete idiots with each other. The water game they played saw Clarke and Octavia winning two rounds, but Aden and Raven totally kicked their asses by winning almost ten times after that. Raven had been on Aden’s shoulders and the girl was stronger than she looked because she kept pushing Octavia off her shoulders by distracting her.

After the initial checking-Clarke-out thing, Raven had not looked at her in that way for the rest of the time and she was grateful. She really couldn’t have dealt with a love triangle, much less between friends at that. She never got the chance to talk to Aden alone all throughout the time to ask him what was up, but it was obvious he doted on both girls, and she just hoped he knew what he was doing.

 

//  
The sun was setting by the time they were all showered and dry with empty pizza boxes sprawled in front of them. It had been a good day after all and she had learned so much about Raven and Octavia. She could see herself easily becoming friends with the two girls who were as loud as they were overprotective of their friends.

“Yo Clarke!” Raven said throwing pizza crust in her direction.

“Mhm,” Clarke responded from her place on the carpet.

Aden had claimed the couch and of course Raven and Octavia had snuggled into his sides.

“We were supposed to kiss you for Woods,” and Clarke heard Octavia snicker loudly at what Raven said. Clarke was sure her face betrayed her, but her location unless she turned to them wouldn’t give her away.

“I doubt Heda would want you touching Clarke,” Aden spoke up before Clarke could and she was super grateful, still checking if her voice worked.

“Why do you call her that?” Clarke asked, because of course she wasn’t jealous that her brother had nicknamed her future lover.

“Lexa and Aden are totally bros!” Octavia piped up and Raven snorted.

“Yeah! Totally bros,” he said fist pumping, “not telling you a thing lil sis,” they all laughed, especially when Clarke threw her cushion at his head.

“You’re like ten seconds older than me!” Clarke whined.

“Actually 3 minutes and ten seconds babygirl,” they heard Jake say as he came down the stairs.

“Oh come on dad!” Clarke said throwing up her hands.

“Sorry kiddo,” and he grabbed whatever he had emerged for and left the room again.

“Not sorry,” Raven echoed and the room erupted into another round of laughter.

 

//  
“You should come with,” Raven offered, as she and Octavia stood in the doorway saying their goodbyes about an hour later.

“Huh?” Aden responded, a confused look slanting his lips and raising his brows.

“No. Clarke, you should come with us. We’re headed to Lexa’s, and besides it’s still pretty early,”

It was Raven that answered. Obviously it was this girl’s mission to meddle in her friends’ life and Clarke could appreciate the sentiment if it never always made Lexa look like an idiot. It was funny though.

“Yeah Clarke! Go,”

Aden’s words brought her out of her thoughts. He was grinning now and poking her sides and pushing her out the door. Yep, they had planned this and now she understood why Octavia had told her to put on something better after their shower. Clarke shook her head. She looked like lazy days and staying home— sweats and tank top and all. Her hair was in a messy bun, but she had on a bra, so at least she had that going for her.

Oh god! This was happening and Clarke could feel her internal freak out coming on as she clutched her phone allowing herself to be pushed out the door and into a car’s back seat. She watched Aden kiss both girls on their cheeks and she waved as they drove off.

 

//  
“Yo Woodsie!” Raven bellowed as the phone connected through the car’s Bluetooth and Clarke had to bite back her snicker at the nickname.

“Sup Rae?” Clarke heard the lush smoothness of Lexa’s voice bounce in the car.

“Lexaaaaaaaaaaaaaa” Octavia cooed.

Clarke blushed hearing Lexa laugh at Octavia’s greeting. God! Lexa’s laugh was amazing. She wanted to hear that deep and full and sexy laugh again.

“Do you have on a bra?” Raven asked.

“Changed your mind Reyes?” Lexa easily quipped and Clarke smiled hearing the smirk in the girl’s tone.

“You’re still not my type Woodsie!” and the banter began.

“I’m everyone’s type,”

“Yeah and that’s why you single,”

“What you wanna know that for?”

“Got a surprise for you!”

“Nuh-uh! Fuck you and your surprises Reyes!”

“Oh come on Woooooodsie!”

“I swear you get kicks out of making me look like an idiot,”

“Mayyyyyybe!”

“I do though,”

“Goooood. So,” and Clarke saw Raven wink at her in the rearview, “how’s Clarke?”

“Oh my god Rae I—”

Clarke cut her off, because no matter how she wanted to hear Lexa gush about her she wouldn’t have the girl do it again unaware of her presence. Likewise she wouldn’t want the brunette to hear how she gushed to Aden.

“Hey Lexa! I’m here too by the way,” Clarke chirped and Octavia doubled over in the front seat, her laughter twinning with Raven’s and echoing in the car.

“Cl—clarke?” Lexa stuttered out.

“Yeah, hope you don’t mind, but Raven and Octavia said it was okay I tagged along. Although, I can not if you pref—”

“No! Come! Definitely come!” and Lexa stopped speaking when she heard Raven and Octavia snickering in the car, realizing how they must have taken her words, “you people are children! Bye Clarke.”

Clarke tuned out Raven and Octavia’s bickering and laughing as they continued driving. She wondered about her need to stop Raven from embarrassing Lexa again. She could feel Lexa ingrained in her. She missed her lips and god she missed her in general. There was something captivating about her, even when Clarke had thought she was mental. It was uncanny and illogical, but when were emotions ever that? Clarke just watched the scenery pass by in the window.

She was going to see Lexa in a little while and the thought alone had her smiling stupidly, and her chest soaring. The wetness she felt in her panties at the thought of Lexa wasn’t what bothered her. The smiling and heart beating fast was going to be a problem, and Clarke sighed half expecting the sentiments to disappear, but they just bloomed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter we meet Abby and Lincoln a lil' bit.  
> There is also some CLEXA steamy time...LOL


	8. Interruptions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke goes to Lexa's house with Raven and Octavia. Clarke meets Lincoln Woods. Lexa meets Abby Griffin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still haven't started the new season yet. Screw Jason (lol) or maybe not (lol).  
> Not sure if you all liked the last chapter so much. Hope you enjoy this short chapter better.

Clarke barely blinks at her house Lexa notices and she's grateful. Normally people exaggerate the fact that she is the daughter of the owners of Pramheda Enterprises. She hated it and though past Clarke wasn't swayed by such things, she still didn't know this version of Clarke well enough. She heard Raven say something and she heard Octavia laughing but she couldn't pay attention.

Clarke was standing in front of her in sweats. She was even more beautiful and Lexa thought it was impossible to be this serene, this beautiful, this perfect attempt at seduction in nothing but the most casual of clothes. They were watching each other and they were rooted to their spot. Lexa at the bottom of the stairs and Clarke standing in front of the door. It was as if they were unsure of what to do and the reaction to have, but it took Lexa all of a matter of seconds to decide what she was going to do.

“You’re beautiful,” Lexa manages to get out, before her lips were on Clarke’s.

The kiss was automatic. They were orbiting each other and now they were plummeting uncontrollably into each other. Lips attached and bodies flushed. Hands roving and fingers exploring. Aches finally sated, but hungers now awoken, set on violent repeat, damaging and deliberate as their tongues found each other. Everything around them dissolved and lips were the only thing present, moving fluidly and effortlessly against each other.

“Well fuck!” Raven exclaimed and both girls pulled apart. Lexa was a mess, eyes still closed and breaths heavy as her hands gripped onto Clarke for balance. When she finally opened her eyes Clarke grinned at her shamelessly. Grabbing her hand Clarke spun them around to their friends.

“Well that just happened,” Octavia broke out, a shit eating grin plastering her face, “pay up bitch!” she continued and Raven grumbled like an idiot.

“You guys couldn't have waited till we left?” Raven asked no one in particular as she shoved a twenty grudgingly towards Octavia. Clarke looked on incredulously and Lexa just shook her head.

“What was the bet?” Lexa asked

“Well I said you guys would jump each other as soon as Clarke stepped through the door and Raven said Lexa would never cuz she's too proper” Octavia fist pumped and slapped Raven on the back grinning, “I finally won a bet ha ha.”

Raven was a silent screwed up face mess and Lexa grinned widely. She guessed being proper went out the door around Clarke, but she didn't mind one bit. Clarke was still silent and now she was worrying, because Rae and O did have a tendency to be too much too soon. She turned to Clarke and squeezed her hand.

“Clarke?” she started, but Rae and O cut her off, obviously realizing the awkwardness of the situation they had caused.

“Shit we didn’t mean to embarrass you Clarke,”

“Clarke,” Lexa tried again and was thrown off balance when Clarke just crashed into her arms head burrowing in her shoulder. Her arms instinctively wrapped around her, supporting her weight. She was done pretending and done acting like the emotionless persona the Commander had been. She would choose her heart every time from now on. She would choose Clarke.

“What?” she asked not hearing what Clarke had mumbled.

“Tell them to leave,” Clarke hushed out again, barely audible and Lexa felt like shit because she’d allowed her friends to make Clarke uncomfortable.

“Can you guys go? Please,” she asked turning to Octavia because she could always control Raven. Raven started stepping forward and Lexa shook her head just as Octavia gripped her hand. They mouthed a sorry and headed back out the door.

“Clarke are you okay?” Lexa asked turning back to Clarke holding her in her arms and trying to get the snuggling girl to talk to her.

Clarke didn’t budge, just snuggled further into Lexa’s neck. She loved the feeling of Clarke against her, soft and all skin and warmth. Clarke smelled of lavender and pizza, a concoction that made Lexa grip tighter as she felt Clarke nuzzle her lips against her neck. Lexa jumped and felt her chest roar to life as Clarke nipped her neck. She felt Clarke's hands grip in her hair and she felt her knees wobble.

Clarke was slowly seducing her and she didn't know what to do, though she couldn't encourage this—shit, Lexa flung her head back as Clarke lapped up her neck setting fire in her wake and Lexa was definitely now awake, toes curling and fingers pinching into Clarke's hips and dragging her closer.

“Clarke—” Lexa choked out.

If Clarke persisted she’d be left helpless in a mess both in her panties and in her parent’s living room. Clarke didn’t budge though, just redoubled her efforts, hands massaging her nape while tongue and lips sucked patterns into her collarbone.

“Cl—arke please—” Lexa tried again and figured afterwards that these were the wrong choice of words because Clarke now angled her head and captured her earlobe nibbling it and Lexa moaned heavy clinging to Clarke, hands steady on her head keeping her in place.

“Take me to your room Lexa,”

The request was a mixture of want and sultry and control and Lexa surrendered. Ripping herself from Clarke's grip she grabbed her arm tugging them towards the stairs. They didn't make it pass the landing before Lexa was on Clarke this time, pinning her to the railing and claiming her lips again hand fisting in Clarke’s tank top brushing the underside of her bra.

Before Lexa could even think of dipping underneath the material, a throat cleared and the girls jumped away as if burned, trying to look as casual as possible.

“Lexa Woods” the voice began.

It was a deep and intimidating sound. Clarke turned about fifty shades of red, definitely sure she would combust.

“I taught you to treat girls better than this,” and the man whom Clarke assumed was Lexa’s dad waved his hand up and down motioning towards them.

“Dad,” Lexa began turning around and attempting to block Clarke from view.

“I’m Lincoln Woods by the way,”

He brushed off Lexa’s attempt, and made his way over to Clarke hand outstretched. Clarke gulped eyes going from Lexa to her dad and his hand before she took it.

“And you are?” he continued because of course she never told him her name because smoothness was not her forte.

“Clarke sir. Uhm, nice to meet you,” and she let go of his hand quickly her face flushed and embarrassment etched into her features.

“Maybe not the stairs Lexa,” he said laughing with a shake of his head and then he was gone.

“Shit—”Lexa breathe out.

“I’m never living that down. I’m soooo sorry Clarke. I didn’t know anyone was here,” Lexa said fiddling with her hands and watching Clarke close her eyes tight.

“Daddy WOODS! I get what Octavia meant now. Damn!” Clarke finally said with a grin on her lips.

Lexa couldn't help herself, she leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to the left of Clarke's lips.

“Go out with me,”

She felt Clarke smile against her lips at the question. Clarke nodded her head and Lexa chuckled at Clarke’s inability to speak as she clumsily captured her lips again.

She loved her. In the past she hadn't told her but she had known, Clarke always seemed to know the things she couldn't have said. She would tell this Clarke though, she had to, for she wouldn't let her second chance go to waste.

Falling from the sky was no simple feat. But falling and surviving and loving and feeling, now that was remarkable. Surviving the ground and living and meeting your soulmate who was your polar opposite and loving and losing them was almost impossible. Meeting them again after the fates had made it known that being together was improbable was not lost on Lexa and she was going to make it known sooner rather than later how she felt.

This was home.

She was whole and she finally understood why she couldn't have had any other partner before now, because nothing felt like Clarke. She was an otherworldly dream and Lexa knew waking up would be just as intimate and just as real.

 

//  
Lexa started the engine and Clarke was still in a daze. She was whipped as hell. Lexa was a drug and she was losing herself in the soft stoic silkiness the brunette offered so timidly and so fully. It was as if Lexa didn’t know how to do one without the other and Clarke was scared of hurting her. It was obvious the girl was into this, whatever this was, a hundred percent.

Now that she thinks about it, she was glad that Lexa’s dad had interrupted them because she didn’t know what she’d have done post-sex haze.

She didn’t know what Lexa expected from all of this, well obviously she wanted to date her, but Clarke was unsure beyond that and she didn’t want to mess things up. She could feel Lexa’s gaze on her but she couldn’t look her in the eye yet.

“Lexa,” Clarke began as the car moved into gear, but she stopped when she heard the song playing from Lexa’s radio.

_Let me escape in your arms_

_Baby I'm yours, baby I'm yours_

_Love don't come easy at all_

_I miss you so much, I miss you so much_

_Tell me, is this freedom, baby?_

_Chasing after danger, making my heart race, woah_

_Maybe if the stars align, maybe if our worlds collide_

_Maybe on the dark side we could be together, be together_

_Maybe in a million miles, on a highway through the stars_

_Someday soon we'll be together_

 

She couldn’t help but read into the words as the beat rang through the car and she wondered about her future, her dreams and Lexa sitting beside her eyes on the road driving carefully.

As the hook played out, she thought of those dreams she’d had of space and how they felt homey to her and real. She thought of her crash landing every time, which was what always woke her from that particular dream.

“I love this song,” she said half expecting Lexa to excitedly gush about the lyrics.

Lexa only gave her a half assed ‘mhm’ and Clarke was almost pissed. They drove for the rest of the time in silence and Clarke listened to Lexa’s playlist. She’d expected Classical or Jazz, but Lexa had 21 Pilots, Nothing but Thieves, Major Lazer, Ed Sheeran and Imagine Dragons.

She hummed along to the songs as they came on or skipped them as she liked. They arrived at her house quicker than she’d anticipated and Lexa got out of the car to open her door for her as she’d done when they were at Lexa’s house before.

“You don’t have to do that you know Lexa,”

“I want to,”

“Thanks for the ride,”

“Of course. I like that song too by the way,”

“Oh, okay,”

“Yeah, I just don’t like talking when I drive. It’s distracting,”

“I get it, no problem.”

“Can I kiss you?”

Clarke didn’t answer, just molded their lips together, allowing Lexa to push her against the car. Lexa’s tongue invaded her mouth as if trying to take all she could from Clarke. Clarke shuddered when Lexa’s lips ghosted against her ear and she could feel the hot breath panting and whispering against her neck.

“We shouldn’t—”

Before Clarke could finish her train of thought, a set of bright lights illuminated them as Clarke recognized her mom’s car pulling into the driveway. Great she thought, tonight was the night for interruptions galore. Clarke released an exasperated sigh as they separated for the second time that night as her mom approached them.

“Clarke what are you— oh hi Miss Woods,”

“Good night Dr. Griffin, you can call me Lexa. I was just dropping Clarke home,”

Lexa could barely look at the older Griffin for she was sure the woman had seen her nearly take her daughter against the car.

Abby nodded at that and continued, “well don’t be too long in saying bye,”

“Right. I’m gonna go. Bye Clarke. Bye Dr. Griffin,”

Lexa bolted away from Clarke and was opening the driver’s door once more when Abby called out to her.

“And Lexa, if you’re gonna suck face with my daughter, at least come to dinner,”

Then Abby walked away like she’d said the most casual thing on the face of the earth and as if Lexa was not mortified enough Clarke was laughing and she just got in her car and drove away. Embarrassment was her new best friend and parents were cock-blocks.


	9. Sky Meets Ground

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Date night...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The main reason I started writing this fic was so I'd have a place to share the poem SKY MEETS GROUND that is included in this chapter. I wrote said poem over the Xmas of 2016 and had no idea what to do with it. hope you enjoy.
> 
> Follow me over at -   
> IG - gravity_stephens  
> Facebook - Gervanna Gravity Stephens  
> Wordpress - www.gervannastephens.wordpress.com

The days after the incident passed quickly. While Clarke had been mortified by her mom catching them, for her it had faded quickly. Lexa had dwelled on it a little much though, determined to be a proper gentlewoman. In essence that meant ignoring all of Clarke’s attempt to be intimate.

Clarke was beyond frustrated. The school days weren't any better because she only saw Lexa mainly at lunch and with all their other friends there, it was difficult to get any alone time. The kisses on the cheek weren't doing it for Clarke anymore. She watched Lexa laugh at something Aden said and smiled at how close the two had become. Her brother and girlfriend getting along was— she’d just called Lexa her girlfriend and it didn’t really phase her. They weren’t official yet, nor had they spoken about it.

She felt she should be scared, because obviously she cared about Lexa even after such a short time and this was new territory for her. She had never really had a steady relationship before. Finn and Costia hadn't lasted long enough to be considered worthy of serious, but they had been her most intimate encounters and for those reasons she couldn't use them as marking points for what was happening with Lexa.

Finn had been an idiot clingy liar who Aden hated from day one and who Clarke had used to, well just used, because he’d been somebody to mess around with when she couldn’t deal with school or her overprotective brother. Costia now, had been sweet and kind, the total opposite of Finn and the other assholes she’d normally been with. The older girl had been so soft with her after finding out it was her first time with a girl, but they’d fizzled out quick. It wasn’t amicable, but they weren’t at odds either.

Then Clarke had moved away. She wasn’t broken-hearted, but she was wary of relationships and their inconsistency and the rubbish people spewed to each other when they were about to cum. It was easy to say endearments and scream out love in the heat of the moment when a head was between your thighs and you were coaxing moans from another person’s body.

She didn't dare compare those epic failures to the person Lexa was, but she didn’t really know her well enough. God she wanted to though. It was like a gut-wrenching need. Coupled with the fact that she hadn’t kissed Lexa in a while made her antsy and on edge.

They had Kane’s class next and their presentations for their poems were due. Clarke was a bit nervous and now definitely glad that they didn't sit together. The bell signaled the end of lunch and she grabbed Lexa’s hand leading her away from the table toward their class, after throwing laters and byes behind her.

 

Before Lexa could turn the nob for the classroom Clarke grabbed her and kissed her hard. It was all teeth and tongue. Finesse was a far cry from necessary because Clarke hadn't felt Lexa against her in almost a week. That was surely torture.

“I can’t wait for our date tonight beautiful,” Clarke breathed out breaking the kiss and then she sauntered pass Lexa into the class.

 

//  
Lexa leaned out of breath against the wall unable to stop her hands from shaking. She turned just as Clarke found her seat and the smile Clarke sent her way had her knees buckling. She was nervous now and she staggered to her seat beside Octavia ignoring the girl’s attempts at chatting with her.

She watched one by one as students got up and read their pieces to the class. She heard the ooohs and aaahs and the snaps of fingers. The laughter made the class interesting, especially when Aden read a poem personifying his love for girls was like an overbearing blonde little sister he couldn’t shake. Everyone had turned and looked at Clarke and laughed, even Kane.

It was Lexa’s turn next based on the randomly drawn numbers that had been issued at the beginning of class. She smoothed out her shirt, grabbed her notebook and made her way to stand at the front. She released a breath, heavy and shaky and turned her eyes to lock onto blue as she began reading.

**_Sky Meets Ground_ ** _by Lexa Woods_

_One,_

_If I could, I would tie these dreams to rockets and blast them into space,_

_to adjust the altitudes of hearts soaring, love’s roaring and tempests alive._

_Two,_

_Love is weakness,_

_for it’s impossible to keep a straight face, steady my breath,_

_prevent the rivers overflowing from my palm;_

_I mean after all, my knees are still shaking._

_Three,_

_You’re the one who burned and spurned my affections 300 times,_

_but maybe I was the one who sent them there to die._

_Four,_

_I am the Commander, and you will not speak to me about feelings, for I made this decision with my head and not my heart._

_Five,_

_Victory stands on the back of sacrifice, and I care about you I do,_

_but my people come first and I can’t be distracted by fallen stars and soft lips._

_Six,_

_Your lips are actually softer than mine,_

_and you retort Mockery is not the product of a strong mind_

_but I never claimed my mind was strong,_

_for here it is melting at your words, bucking like hips at your touch._

_I tilt my head and I can’t get enough._

_Seven,_

_I’m not ready._

_I pull away, head down, breaths coming fast, eyes closed—_

_then if you care about me trust me— I’m just not ready, not yet._

_Eight,_

_I stand alone,_

_earth looming, sky above—_

_head over heart, love is weakness—_

_I guess I finally understand what it means to live on the ground._

_Nine,_

_I planted my faith and hopes in the soil at the foot of your throne,_

_trusted in your honor forgetting every time you smiled at only me_

_that I was not yours,_

_not your people,_

_not your problem… Maybe in a different time._

_Ten,_

_knife grazes throat and I ache to press, slide, slit and coat_

_the ground by power of the sky,_

_with your blood and hurt you like how you turned me._

_I’m sorry. The words whisper from your lips and I stumble back,_

_weapon discarded, feelings in place— love is weakness._

_Nine,_

_We attempt a truce for ‘our’ people you now call it_

_and I guess I should take that as progress,_

_but I never know with you—_

_Eight,_

_Not everyone. Not you._

_But I still have to stay in place to ensure you keep your word._

_Seven,_

_Blood must have blood!_

_Six,_

_You may think our ways are harsh, but this is how we survive,_

_Five,_

_Please…_

_Four,_

_Blood must not have blood_

_Three,_

_I swear fealty to you._

_I vow to treat your needs as my own and your people as my people._

_Two,_

_When do you leave?_

_One,_

_Now…_

_When the sky met the ground, echoes of hurt and pain could be heard._

_Blue sunk into green and the sky was finally tethered, the ground uplifted— they were home._

_They were the joining horizon. An immeasurable disparity._

_The leveling of hearts, love and tempests written._

_A hundred years nor death by bullet could prevent them from seeing the same moon,_

_aching to press skin deep and forever, into more than just surviving._

 

Lexa finished reading and there were quick claps as the bell rang signaling the end of the class. Kane announced that the remaining students would present the following Friday and Lexa quickly made her way back to her seat and gathered her books and bag. Octavia was nowhere in sight and everyone else had already filed out of the class when she turned around, except for Clarke.

Clarke was standing there behind her with her hands gripping her bag strap and eyes blue and watery looking at Lexa as if she had just revealed her most precious self to her through the poem.

“Clarke I—” but she was cut off by Clarke slamming into her.

Lexa held onto Clarke and everything felt right. It felt like she was finally home. That she was done surviving. She felt level, tethered and at peace. She gripped Clarke tighter nuzzling her ear.

“I love you Clarke…”

It came out as a whisper and Lexa felt Clarke tense beneath her hold. Clarke was leaning away from her and Lexa felt the disappointment sizzle through her body. As she felt Clarke looking up at her, she looked down and attempted to pull away. Strong fingers gripped her jaw, forcing her eyes up and she looked at Clarke’s watery gaze. It was open and shocked and soft. She felt herself drowning in blue, unwilling to come up for air, knowing that this was the right move, being here with Clarke.

“Lexa— I—”

Lexa stopped Clarke with a kiss and in that moment she poured everything into that kiss. All her memories, her love and her understanding of the fact that Clarke couldn’t reciprocate how she felt right now. Lexa just hoped that she hadn’t pushed Clarke away. She emptied herself completely to Clarke, using lips and tongue to assure and console and love Clarke. Her Clarke.

“I will never rush you Clarke,”

They stood like that for some time till the last bell rang for the day.

“I’ll still see you later?” Clarke asked.

Her voice was timid and shy. Lexa figured she still needed reassurance after her non-answer to Lexa’s love declaration. Lexa kissed Clarke again, chaste and sweet this time, nodding with a smile as Clarke and her made their way to the parking lot to head home.

 

//  
Lexa does a quick once over of herself in the mirror to make sure she isn’t missing anything. She had on a pair of hi-top converse, dark blue skinny jeans and a white hoodie with the word MAYBE printed in blue against the front. She opted against make up for they weren’t going anywhere too fancy. Satisfied with her appearance she grabbed her phone, wallet and keys.

She arrives at Clarke’s house, parks and exits the car. She’s greeted by Mr. Griffin when she rings the doorbell.

“Mr. Griffin, it’s nice to meet you again,” she said holding out her hand.

Jake shakes her hand and smiles widely at her, “Hi Lexa. You can call me Jake. I hear you already met Abby,” and he chuckles as her cheeks flame.

“Oh, uh uhmm—” she stuttered as Abby grinned at her.

“Lexa! How lovely to see you again,”

“Likewise Dr. Griffin,” and Abby laughs out loud at Lexa’s uncomfortable shuffling just as Clarke comes down the stairs and Lexa is thrown.

“Wow!”

The word blurted out of Lexa’s mouth and she was sure she was drooling and she couldn’t register the fact that she was in front of Clarke’s parents. Clarke was wearing dark jeans and a black v-neck blouse that dipped sinfully low accentuating Clarke’s breasts. Her eyes were a smoky sea, she had on red lipstick and her hair was a literal crown falling in waves over her shoulders. Lexa’s throat was dry and her hands were shaking.

“Uhh— Let me try that again. You look beautiful Clarke,”

“Thanks,” and she dips her head cheeks reddening slightly, “You are amazing as well,”

The sound of throats clearing bring them out their trance and Lexa kicks herself mentally when she remembers that Clarke’s parents are in the room.

“Enjoy your evening girls,” Jake says and Abby nods knowingly, a smirk planted on her face.

When they finally make it outside Clarke allows Lexa to get the door for her and they settle into a silent drive. There is no talking because Clarke remembers that Lexa doesn’t like that, so she just sets the radio and settles herself into the seat.

They pull up a few minutes later and Lexa leads Clarke into a homey looking restaurant towards a seat positioned near the back. After ordering they settle into easy conversation. Clarke learns how Lexa can fight just as well as her dad and Lexa learns that Clarke can draw pretty well. They talk about insignificant things like their favorite color, foods, music and TV shows.

The night goes by with laughter and drinks and food that is to die for. Clarke’s taste buds are tingling after their food and as they step out of the restaurant into the cool night air, she grabs Lexa’s hand, desperate to sate her taste buds with Lexa this time. Lexa just tugs on Clarke’s hand and they walk back towards the car.

“Thank you Lexa,”

“Anytime Clarke,” and Lexa linked their fingers as she opened the door ushering Clarke inside.

Lexa got in the car and buckled her seatbelt starting the engine so the car could start warming up.

“So are you ready for part two?” Lexa asked giddy and nervous.

“Let’s go.”

 

The drive was shorter this time around and Clarke had no time to be in her head with her thoughts as the car soon stopped. Lexa led her to an isolated road after they got out of the car. It was dark and Clarke clung to Lexa as she led the way.

“You gonna kill me out here?” Clarke asked jokingly.

“Nah. Maybe next date,” Lexa replied joking right back.

Clarke allowed herself to be led further into the darkness and stopped short running right into Lexa’s back when she saw a string of lights in the trees and blankets set up. The lights illuminated thick blankets set up on the grass with cushions and candles all arranged. There was soft music coming from a boom box to the left of the setup and Clarke noticed a picnic basket as well. Her breath hitched when Lexa turned towards her and she was lost in the green of her eyes.

“Lexa this is beautiful,” Clarke said as Lexa just tugged her along.

They settled onto the blankets and Lexa fished through the basket for the champagne, glasses and desert. She poured two glasses and gave one to Clarke as she placed a piece of cake on the fork in front of Clarke’s lips. The moan that came out of Clarke’s mouth as her tongue closed around the fork sent a gush of want rushing through Lexa’s body so powerful, it made her gasp.

Clarke was then in Lexa’s space. The wine glasses were discarded, the cake was forgotten and they were kissing. Clarke reached for her, running her hands along Lexa’s shoulders and neck. Lexa let out a soft moan as Clarke’s hands tangle in her hair grabbing but only lightly. Lexa presses Clarke back into the blankets until she is on top of her. Clarke huffs out when her back makes contact with the soft blankets and bites Lexa’s bottom lip. Clarke’s skin is both warm and damp when it makes contact with Lexa’s and Lexa revels in it. The feel of Clarke beneath her is amazing.

Clarke sighs as she slips her tongue into Lexa’s mouth and they both moan as Lexa tightens her hands on Clarke’s hips scared to move them. Clarke realizes the nervousness in Lexa, and slides her hands down over Lexa’s pulling them up to cup her chest. A gasp drags out of Lexa’s mouth and she looks at Clarke eyes lidded and stormy. Clarke is biting her lip and leans up to kiss Lexa again. Lexa can feel Clarke smiling against her lips and Lexa takes this as the reassurance she needs to continue.

She reaches for the hem of Clarke’s blouse and it is off in an instant landing somewhere unknown. She returns her hand to Clarke’s breasts still clad in her bra. It is a lacy black display covering soft flesh that Lexa wants to devour and then Clarke is removing the straps and unhooking her own bra and Lexa is left mouth gaping and in awe at Clarke’s trembling chest.

Lexa grazes her thumbs over Clarke’s nipples and mentally high-fives herself when Clarke’s breath catches half way in her throat. Lexa repeats the action and Clarke lets out a strained noise of pleasure that shoots right into Lexa’s core. Clarke bites Lexa’s bottom lip and licks it with her tongue, moaning when Lexa grinds her hips downwards.

Clarke pushes Lexa off, “Clothes”

She gestures between them, making a mad dash with her hands for her own pants while Lexa does the same with her own clothes. As they fall back to each other naked Lexa’s mouth moves to Clarke’s neck as she slides between Clarke’s legs. Lexa’s fingers trail patterns along Clarke’s thighs and Clarke is desperately trying to grind harder against Lexa.

“Clarke—” Lexa tries, but a moan rips from Clarke’s throat when Lexa’s thigh presses to her wetness and Lexa feels Clarke arch her back, a perfect curve upwards into Lexa.

“— are you sure Cl—arke,” and now Lexa is shaking above Clarke because the feel of her skin is intoxicating and it’s soft and her fingers are digging into the warm flesh beneath her.

Clarke makes a sound that comes out as whine and Lexa looks up in an attempt to get Clarke to answer her question or her attempts at questions. Lexa hovers over her waiting and Clarke nods. Lexa finally moves, having the confirmation she needs and Lexa goes slowly downwards.

Lexa closes her mouth around Clarke sucking lightly and the shock and urgency in Clarke’s body makes her twitch and shudder. Lexa pulls slow and soft circles around Clarke’s clit. She teases her, building her up and Clarke feels a blooming forming in her stomach and a coiling in her gut. It is as if Lexa wants to relish in Clarke’s taste with her slow and tenuous movements, and Clarke’s hand automatically reaches down to intertwine with Lexa’s.

Lexa teases the entrance of Clarke with the tip of her tongue before flattening her tongue and swiping back up to Clarke’s clit. The breath from Clarke’s lungs is stolen when Lexa pushes into her with her tongue and she moans loudly under Lexa’s lips devouring her, savoring her and teasing her. Hands secure her hips as Clarke bucks upward, groans coming loudly from her throat being ripped out over and over with every flick of Lexa’s tongue.

“ _Lex—a. Fuck. Please_ ” Clarke whines.

A whimper echoes around them, and Lexa strokes Clarke’s entrance with her fingers now. Clarke groans out and arches her back grabbing a handful of Lexa’s chestnut curls when Lexa pushes a single finger in. Clarke’s breath shudders and Lexa’s strokes are gentle then fast. Her slender finger pulls all the way out coated in Clarke’s juices and she groans at the sight as she pushes back in with two fingers feeling Clarke squeeze around her fingers.

Lexa curls her fingers up hitting just the right spot it seems, because the sound Clarke makes is the sexiest and most guttural response she could’ve expected. She is pumping into Clarke wildly without abandon then, mouth latching onto Clarke’s flesh she bites down on her thigh and each thrust is firmer than the last. Lexa drives in more precise and the warmth surrounding her fingers coupled with the noises Clarke is making lets Lexa know she’s close. Clarke’s fingers are pinching into Lexa’s shoulder as Lexa sucks on Clarke’s clit again. Lexa twists her fingers then and Clarke is incoherent.

“I’m— Lex—”

Lexa nods, teeth grazing Clarke’s clit and she feels Clarke flutter and shudder around her. Clarke shouts, a terrible grating and sensuous sound as she arches her back and comes hard. Clarke’s thighs clamp around Lexa’s head and her fingers scratch deeply into Lexa’s flesh. Lexa eases Clarke through the waves, fingers stilling as Clarke convulses and eventually relaxes on the blankets, her legs dropping from Lexa’s head.

Lexa doesn’t stop or pull away when Clarke settles. She starts back up a deliberate and punishing pace allowing no time for Clarke to recover and the sounds out of Clarke sound raw and hurt. Clarke is clenching against Lexa’s fingers and grinding her hips into Lexa’s fingers mimicking the pace set. Clarke comes again so quickly she’s almost embarrassed, but Lexa is easing her through the sensations again and the ripples wash over her and fade.

She crawls up Clarke’s body leaving open mouth kisses and sloppy licks to Clarke’s sweaty skin. They’re kissing again now, and Clarke is kneading Lexa’s breasts in her palms flicking her nipples and lightly pinching them. Lexa sighs above Clarke pressing their foreheads together.

“I’m okay Cl—”

“No,” Clarke murmurs trailing her fingers down Lexa’s stomach.

Lexa trembles above Clarke when her hands brush against Lexa’s dripping lips. She leans forward almost falling when Clarke slides two fingers over her clit and her head drops down automatically.

“Clarke—” it is a choked out whisper from Lexa and at that moment, Clarke pushes into her slick heat.

Lexa tenses and Clarke whispers sweet nothings into Lexa’s ear. Her thumb gently circling Lexa’s clit as her fingers set a rhythm. Lexa feels choked and as if her lungs are blazing. Her hips grind down rolling against Clarke’s hand and the sensation sends her writhing, hips rolling to match Clarke’s thrusts. Lexa is so wet that every time Clarke pulls out and pushes back in the squelching sound of Lexa’s wetness and Clarke’s movement fill the almost silent air.

Lexa is trembling and trying not to come so quickly, but she was already worked up from touching Clarke. Clarke whispers to her again and then Clarke’s name is dancing out of her throat breathy and exotic and hard like a paradoxical exclamation.

Clarke draws Lexa to her as she comes down from her high and Lexa nuzzles into Clarke’s neck.

“Wow,”

The word comes out reverently against Clarke’s neck, and Lexa is lost once more when Clarke flips them over with Lexa now on her back and Clarke straddling her waist.

 

//  
They had driven back in comfortable silence after Clarke had reassured Lexa a million times that everything that happened was nothing that she hadn’t wanted. Clarke was now in bed staring at her ceiling trying to figure out how being with Lexa could’ve felt so natural and familiar. Her thoughts ran rampant as her eyelids fell heavy, and Clarke drifted off to sleep with Lexa on her mind and falling from the sky towards destiny and the green of Lexa’s eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you guys think?
> 
> Also, if you realize, I've finally decided on an amount of chapters, cuz seriously reliving the CLEXA love through this fic is making me sad so gotta end it soon.
> 
> TWO more chapters to go, and yes, Clarke will remember.
> 
> Cheers!


	10. Small Realizations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angst and some small realization.  
> Lexa is all in for love and Clarke is jumpy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Clarke will remember fully next chapter. Enjoy.

All Clarke wanted to do was sleep. The days went by quickly. Clarke had grown close with Raven and Octavia. Aden and Lexa were complete bros too, hanging out without the entire group, just as Clarke did with Raven and Octavia.

The little love triangle that had spurred between Aden, Octavia and Raven had been quelled after a bad sleeping together attempt and the trio had decided to just be friends. The retellings of the story were funny and embarrassing as hell and Lexa never made Raven and Octavia forget. It was interesting the dynamic they had formed. Clarke and Lexa’s relationship had also grown exponentially.  

School had taken off though. Her classes had not necessarily gotten harder, but she had been distracted a lot. Assignments and presentations and everything were due and crashing down on her. She and Lexa hadn’t been able to be alone alone since their most intimate night months ago. Honestly, it was mostly Lexa’s fault really.

Every time Clarke suggested more than them kissing or tried to push things further Lexa would freeze her out. It wasn’t done in a bad way to hurt her feelings, but she was feeling the brunt of not being able to appreciate her girlfriend fully.

Like last weekend at Lexa’s when instead of taking off her shirt, Lexa had pulled away, told her she was beautiful and gotten her something to drink. The sappiness and sweetness that Lexa was giving off always messed with her head in the moment. Like when instead of watching the sunset which Clarke would exclaim to be beautiful as she sketched, Lexa would always be staring at her when she repeated that yes, it was in fact beautiful. It was these little things that made it impossible to even be angry at Lexa.

Clarke had tried talking to her about it and Lexa had only said that nothing was wrong. Lexa had said that she’d just needed to take them slow, not because she didn’t want Clarke, but because Clarke was worth too much to mess things up. Of course once again this had caused Clarke to forget about her attempts to seduce her girlfriend and just revel in the moment of being with her.

Lexa sure had a way of changing the subject by being a complete sap.

Every time Lexa was sweet and patient and understanding, Clarke felt like the devil when she’d whisper in Lexa’s ear and nip her earlobe in the hallways right before walking off. She felt guilty when she’d send a dirty text and watch Lexa squirm in Kane’s class or at lunch with all their friends present.

It was a sort of game to Clarke. Lexa was holding out and so Clarke would tease her desperately, by wearing shorts, tight jeans and low-cut tops. It was the funniest thing to see Lexa space out because of her boobs and then watch her blush furiously and storm off.

It had almost worked when after Thanksgiving Lexa had been so turned on by her attempts. Clarke had had enough and decided that dirtier was better and so as Lexa drove she started touching herself over her clothes till she’d just slid her hand into her joggers and started working her fingers furiously. It was only after she moaned that Lexa’s eyes had bulged and she’d stopped the car on their way from school one evening, reclined the seat and hauled Clarke over to straddle her.

They’d almost gotten so worked up that Lexa was looking to find purchase in her wetness and replace Clarke’s fingers, when flashing lights and the blasted police pulled up behind them wondering if things were okay. Why? Because according to the officer ‘they’d been parked there for a while.’

Lexa had been more careful with Clarke then, always ensuring they weren’t alone alone. Clarke had just grinned and accepted it, because hey Lexa was worth not having sex, even though sex with Lexa was good and Clarke was sure she’d combust soon.

She felt comfortable with Lexa, like even though she hadn’t known her long she knew she could trust the brunette. It was as if being with and giving herself to Lexa was the most natural thing on the planet.

“What are we all doing for Christmas guys?” Octavia spoke up and Clarke was brought out of her thoughts and back to the conversation happening over lunch.

The answers came easily for her friends and she zoned out once more after easily responding dinner with her and Lexa’s family. Lexa was worth it. Lexa was her dream, for the girl was a constant feature in her nightly escapades. They weren’t dirty dreams (okay, not all the time). They were otherworldly though. The setting was always the same.

The earth was ravaged like after a bomb. Clarke had been sent to earth after living in space for all her life. Lexa was the Commander of earth. Lexa was a fierce leader in dream. Non-smiling, strong and she was all head and no heart; a logical fountain of youth and power.

Clarke was drawn to her in her dreams like a moth to a flame; accepting and willing to be burned. Lexa did burn her of course, leaving her and her friends at a mountain to save themselves after she’d gotten what she’d wanted.

Clarke would always dream of hating her, wanting to kill her and she could never understand it, because knowing Lexa as she did now, she would never picture her as hard or uncaring. Lexa was the sweetest, most genuine and considerate person she had ever met.

Every time she dreamed of hurting Lexa she’d wake up panting, chest heaving and confused. The dreams were always the same. Her crash landing. Lexa. Betrayal. Attempted murder. Waking up. It was like a constant replay every single night.

They’d been together for almost four months now and Clarke knew that the words Lexa said to her after she’d read her poem were true. Clarke had still yet to tell Lexa that she loved her and Lexa never brought it up. Clarke was grateful for that, but she figured that Lexa must be hurting being the only one to express her feelings so vulnerably.

Clarke sighed and she felt Lexa staring at her now. Not wanting to worry her, Clarke took Lexa’s hand and squeezed it. She felt Lexa relax a little beside her and she tried to focus on the rest of the conversation going on.

 

//  
Her classes after lunch went by swimmingly. Lexa couldn’t focus though. Clarke had seemed on edge and out of it at lunch and in fact for the past few days now and Lexa was worried.

Lexa knew that she slowed things down between them drastically, but she didn’t want to mess up. She never got the chance to be with Clarke properly as Commander, and now being “just Lexa” she would savor every single simple thing she could.

The bell sounded signaling the end of the day and the beginning of the holidays. There were cheers coming from all over the school and Lexa grinned to herself.

Christmas would be spent with Clarke’s family. The dinner Clarke’s mom had planned had to be rescheduled due to surgeries Abby had to do and after that things had just gotten hectic. Yes Lexa had met Clarke’s parents already and spoken to them on more than one occasion every time she picked Clarke up.

The Griffins were a hilarious bunch. Jake was a troublemaker, always wanting to prank Lexa and get Lexa to say things she didn’t mean. Abby was a force to reckon with and she reminded Lexa of her own mother— sure and steadfast, overly protective with a wry sense of humor. It’s not that Lexa was scared of Abby, but she did feel sometimes that if the woman had a shotgun she might get targeted now and then. Aden was a goof. He was not the same night blood she remembered and he was loyal to Clarke to a fault. They hung out a lot, for he was the only person Lexa could talk to about everything and it was amazing how their lives had been switched, yet they were still as connected as ever if only two of them knew it.

The official family meeting and interrogating girlfriends’ dinner though hadn’t happened. Christmas would see her family and Clarke’s family spending the time together and she was nervous. For one, while her dad had met Clarke again after the almost defilement on the staircase, her mom had never seemed to be there when Clarke was there. So there was that. Two, at the end of the day Jake worked for her mom, this dinner in only a few days could go any which way.

Lexa stepped out of the school’s doors into the parking lot to see Clarke leaning against hers and Aden’s van waiting for her. Lexa was blown away by Clarke’s beauty every single time. Right now Clarke was looking at something on her phone and Lexa was simply staring because she was given another chance with Clarke.

In this life she didn’t lose Clarke. In this life Lexa owed nothing to her people. In this life Lexa was wasting time she realized. She thought about it, yes this life was different, but anything could happen and she was wasting precious time with Clarke by not making the best of every moment. And for what? Society’s version of ‘taking things slow.’ Lexa shook her head and stalked over to Clarke.

Sex wasn’t everything, but every time she stopped Clarke and pulled away she knew it hurt the girl. Not all their interactions got heated. Sometimes they just watched a movie and cuddled. Sometimes Clarke would just stare at her and when Lexa caught her, Clarke would just smile.

Many times they would just talk on the phone for hours about everything and nothing. Clarke would draw and Lexa would be in awe of all of her sketches every single time. They would hang out as a group and still Lexa would catch Clarke staring at her over their friends’ heads. It wasn’t something based on sex, but god the sex had been good.

She grabbed Clarke and apparently startled the girl, but when Clarke looked up at her and immediately broke out into a smile, Lexa felt herself soar. She felt like the blue in Clarke’s eyes gave wings to her earthy nature. She smashed their lips together and let herself go in the feeling of Clarke, her lips, her hands reaching up in her hair, her breaths and just her entire presence.

“I love you so much—” Lexa breathed out against Clarke’s lips.

Clarke didn’t stiffen up at this. Clarke had stopped tensing whenever Lexa told her how she felt. Yes they hadn’t know each other long but Lexa had felt the need to tell Clarke and she understood that Clarke wasn’t ready. Lexa tried not to say it too often so as not to overwhelm Clarke, but sometimes she couldn’t help herself.

Clarke just kissed Lexa harder after those three words, and for that Lexa was grateful. She wouldn’t feel bad that Clarke hadn’t said the words yet, but she wouldn’t hide how she felt.

“I want you—please” Clarke whispered when they came up for air again.

All Lexa could do was nod furiously and allow Clarke to drag her into the SUV. She felt the car start when Clarke made her way to the driver’s side and she allowed Clarke to drive them wherever in silence.

Clarke grabbed her hand as they drove and Lexa felt herself struggling to keep her heartrate normal. The drive seemed forever and Lexa had time to let her thoughts wander again, wondering if this was a terrible idea.

Nothing bad had happened when they had sex the last time, but the first time Lexa had been with Clarke back when they were _Heda_ and _Wanheda_ it had ended the worse way possible. Lexa felt her thoughts threatening to overwhelm her, she needed Clarke to be safe even if that meant from her.

Lexa felt Clarke’s hand on her pulling her again and as she came out of her thoughts she realized they were at Clarke’s house now. She allowed Clarke to pull her inside and up the stairs. She was unaware of her surroundings. She was incapable of focusing on anything but the blonde and sunlight and hope in front of her. Clarke was holding her hand, as if it were a lifeline, closing the door and backing her into the bed.

Clarke was straddling her, immediately kissing down Lexa’s neck and instincts quickly kicked in as she planted her hand on Clarke’s neck and stretched her own neck allowing Clarke access.

“Wait—” Lexa tried and Clarke only slowed her movements, licking more and nibbling, but she didn’t stop.

“My parents are at work Lex—” and this seemed to quell Lexa’s hesitation as she said nothing else and easily gave in to the hands skimming her side and the lips painting wants and desires and passion on her neck.

Clarke felt like her body was burning up. After weeks of not being able to be this close to Lexa she was ecstatic to have her. Clarke moaned when Lexa nudged her head up and kissed her, sucking on her bottom lip. Their mouths moved slowly, lips soft but hungry, and once again Clarke noticed that sense of familiarity. That sense of being with Lexa all her life. That sense of home

Clarke shifted and pressed her right leg between Lexa’s and applied pressure to the brunette’s center, reveling in the moans erupting from Lexa’s mouth. She swallowed all of them as she grinded down into her girlfriend.

Clarke sat up and looked at Lexa and it was obvious that Lexa wanted this as much as Clarke did. Their legs were entwined, their limbs hungry and heavy. Lexa ran her hands over Clarke’s sides and stomach reaching for the hem of her blouse. As Lexa pulled it up, Clarke lifted her arms and the shirt was off. Lexa looked down at Clarke’s smooth stomach and her eyes found themselves drawn towards her breasts held tightly by her bra.

Lexa wanted more and twisting, she easily switched their positions. Lexa straddled Clarke now and leaned down to kiss her, breaking it swiftly to remove her own shirt and bra. Lexa kissed Clarke deeply, her tongue seeking to map Clarke’s mouth. Lexa’s hand edged at the edge of Clarke’s shorts and Clarke nodded eagerly.

Lexa ran her fingers over the button and popped it, zipping the shorts down and plunged her hand inside Clarke’s underwear needing no more encouragement. Lexa ran her fingers along Clarke teasingly as she felt Clarke’s fingers dig into her. They continued kissing, only breaking apart to breathe. Clarke used the opportunity to leave a trail of kisses along Lexa’s neck and then dipped to swirl her tongue on Lexa’s nipples. She sucked the right and then left into her mouth and watched Lexa groan and arch above her.

Lexa slid Clarke’s shorts and underwear off, rising up to get it done easier. Clarke’s eyes were a pleading whimpering mess as Lexa stroked her wetness again, barely brushing her fingers against her clit.

“Please—” the request was but a strangled whisper and Lexa pressed forward eager to pleasure and please and slid into Clarke.

Lexa felt Clarke tense a little and then she was moving and clinging to Lexa. Their bodies draped together like jigsaw pieces, molding into the pleasure, the kisses, bites and strokes. Lexa felt herself come undone, as Clarke bit into her shoulder crying out as she orgasmed.

 

//  
Lexa woke up to the realization that one, she was not in her own bed. Two, there was a body pressed into her side that was writhing and moaning. Three, she was naked as the day. Four, Clarke was now screaming.

Lexa shook Clarke hard.

“Clarke! Wake up—” she shook her again and tried to wrap her arms around the girl, “Clarke—”

The sobbing started then and Clarke turned to her, with eyes wide and haunted and Lexa allowed her to fling herself into her neck. Clarke was holding her tight and crying, more like bawling her eyes out. Lexa just held her, rubbing circles into her back and praying that the shaking and sobbing would stop soon. She didn’t know what to do.

Clarke’s grip got tighter as the sobbing ended. Lexa allowed herself to comfort Clarke even though she couldn’t imagine what Clarke could’ve possibly been dreaming about that could’ve traumatized her so much to cause this response.

The room was silent now, except for Lexa whispering to Clarke that she’d be alright and that she was here and she loved her. The sobs had stopped earlier and now the shaking slowed down, but now Clarke was looking at her like she would disappear at any minute. It was evening so there was still light coming into the room and Lexa noticed that Clarke’s normally vibrant blue eyes were a sad sea on a stormy day staring blindly back at her.

“Clarke—” she tried again but was cut off by Clarke attacking her lips.

She allowed herself to be kissed and responded equally realizing that this was what Clarke needed in this moment. She allowed herself to be pushed back to the bed and Clarke was above her now. It was maddening the motions of Clarke on her.

She didn’t want to do this if Clarke wasn’t okay. When Clarke lowered herself and tentatively licked her up her entrance to circle her clit, Lexa lost herself. Her hips were bucking her and she was swearing as Clarke added her fingers to pleasure her and satiate whatever demons that were torturing her into one of the best orgasms Lexa ever experienced.

They clung to each other after and Lexa kissed Clarke reverently and fervently as they lay limbs entwined, tears staining Clarke’s face. Lexa’s breaths finally slowing and both their eyes closed. Lexa didn’t know how much time had passed as they lay there.

“You died Lex—” Clarke whispered breaking the silence and Lexa gripped her tighter.

Did Clarke remember she wondered, but she didn’t dare open her mouth. She didn’t want to scare Clarke or stop her from sharing.

Clarke told her the dream and Lexa felt once again that hope and sunshine she felt on that first day of seeing Clarke not months ago. Apparently, the dream had never progressed past Clarke wanting to kill Lexa after the mountain, she’d always woken up then.

Tonight though, Clarke had seen Lexa pledge fealty to her, realizing that she hadn’t killed Lexa, but forgiven her. Clarke had experienced what it was like to be with Lexa, but then it had been taken away in seconds and Lexa was dead and she was alone and that was terrifying. Hence the screaming, tears and tumultuous shaking Lexa figured.

It may have been a dream to Clarke, but that had been their life before. They lay together in silence after Clarke had finished speaking for Lexa didn’t know what to say, simply because she didn’t want to spoil the moment. She just gripped Clarke tighter, a silent promise that she was here now and very much alive and not going anywhere.

“Lexa,”

“Yes Clarke,”

“I’m sorry,”

“Sorry?” Lexa asked, now shifting to look at Clarke wondering what on earth she could be talking about.

“I’m sorry I’m a mess,”

“You’re not. You are beautiful and allowed to feel whatever you are feeling baby. Yes, it was just a dream, but it doesn’t mean it didn’t make you feel a lot. I’m here to hold you always baby, as long as you’ll have me Clarke,”

There was silence then and Lexa felt Clarke shift. Clarke’s eyes were on her now, boring into her green ones and the sight was beautiful. They still seemed sad and stormy, but the hollowness that had been present right after Clarke had woken up was now gone. She imagined it must be like the sky meeting the earth to any outsider looking on, but she didn’t care. She would melt with Clarke, drown with her even, just as how the sun slides into the seas at night.

“I love you— but I don’t want you to have to deal with my crazy emotional self all the time. You deserve better than that Lexa—”

Lips touched lips then. Igniting and pushing and pulling. They were hard and hungry and pliant and asking and giving and soft. They were teeth and tongue. They were fingers ghosting and moans sliding into each other. They were opposites attracting. They were together. They were pieces fitting. They were kissing and it was an indescribable haven.

“You love me?” Lexa finally asked as they broke apart.

“I love you,” Clarke repeated more steadily this time, and she watched Lexa’s eyes goes wide and then she saw the smile touch them and light them up.

“Thank you Clarke. I love you too. You are worth so much more than the world has to offer and I will give you that every day,” Lexa said.

Her eyes never left Clarke’s and she watched as Clarke’s smile finally reached her eyes, as if accepting that they were here now. They were at this junction where things would be okay.

Clarke didn’t remember their past fully Lexa realized, but regardless she had Clarke now and this Clarke loved her. Clarke loved her, and even if her eyes showed no sign of remembering what they were, it was enough that for once, their maybe one day had come.

Neither Lexa nor Clarke owed anything to their people and right now, they were a tangled limbs of love professions, forevers and always and so much more time to come.


	11. Anya

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time jump - College moving in day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I ended this with the possibility that a part 2 could be written. If anyone wants to work with me on that then hit me up and we can start planning. Thank you guys for sticking with me on this journey to expel my Clexa demons. IT'S NOT A SAD ENDING. Clarke is not upset with Lexa and they’ll be fine. Anya though! Ha ha! Badass mofo!

_Epilogue - It's totally September again!_

“I can’t believe our parents got us an apartment Lex,” Clarke said as she lugged the last box inside.

The building was in one of the school’s housing communities off campus. It would be a fifteen minute drive or a half-hour walk, but at least they didn’t have to fuss over dorm rooms.

They’d all gotten into Polis U.

Aden was rooming on campus with Monty and Jasper, two trouble makers they’d become friends with over the summer break. Octavia and Raven were on the dorms as well. They had all planned on hanging out later after the moving and Clarke was excited this time to have moved and be starting again. It was refreshing.

The rest of the school year had gone swimmingly after Christmas. She fell in love with Lexa even more, especially after realizing that Becca Woods was a mirror of her own mother Abigail Griffin. Graduation had been amazing, well the after-party where they’d all gotten shit-faced drunk and taken enough photos to fill albums for a small island. The skinny dipping was fun and the laser tag that Lexa was surprisingly bad at was also the highlight of that after graduation/summer period.

Moving in together had been automatic for their parents more than them. Becca and Abby had been overly motherly. They were cussing more than usual, fixing things up, and being all proper, annoying and stifling. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to move in with Lexa but her parents’ involvement was excessive.

Jake and Lincoln acted as buffers to their mothers. Their dads made jokes about marriage and kids, which made their moms glare at them and often Lexa blushed like an idiot and apologized to Clarke for her dad. Clarke had just laughed. She loved Lexa yes, and probably could be ready for those things eventually, but definitely not yet.

For Clarke it had been a relief when they had all gotten in to Polis U together. She had already felt like a piece of her was missing. Attending different universities and parting with her friends would have shattered her. She had felt this way since meeting Lexa a year ago. It had been as if there was something she should know, like it was on the tip of her tongue, but not really there.

She wanted to bring it up. She wanted to tell Lexa that she felt her dreams were more than dreams, but she didn’t know how. She knew Lexa wouldn’t feel differently about her, but she felt uneasy knowing she would probably feel differently about herself. It was stupid, but it was how she felt.

“Lexa,”

Clarke called out again, placing the box on the ground beside the coffee table. She threw herself on the couch as the tiredness hit her. Clarke removed the lamp from the coffee table where she had placed it earlier and placed her feet up. Her eyes lulled and she nestled closer into the soft fabric of the couch.

 

//  
Lexa was packing out their clothes into drawers in their new room of their apartment. The apartment was courtesy of their moms. Both their moms had decided early on to take their relationship more seriously than they apparently did. Because of this, Clarke and Lexa now owned their own two bedroom apartment in the university district. As a business major, Lexa knew it was a great investment. It wasn’t that she envisioned a life without Clarke, but the parental units were kind of freaking her out.

Her phone beeped and she stepped away from the chest of drawers to see Aden’s name blinking on screen.

 **Aden:** Meet me. Coffee shop on campus.

Lexa huffed out as she read the message. She could not leave Clarke. Why would Aden want to meet now when they were slated to hang out later? Before she could rattle off a response, another text came in.

 **Aden:** image.jpg

Lexa gasped almost dropping her phone. It couldn’t be. She grabbed her shoes, eagerly putting them on and tying the laces as she bolted to her car.

“Clarke!”

Lexa called out to her girlfriend, needing her to know she was going out, but Lexa got no response. Lexa would just explain later she figured and grabbed the door handle, practically jumping inside, glad the keys were already in the ignition.

Her parents had allowed her to take the BMW to university. Aden had allowed Clarke to keep their SUV being that he was on campus and he would get use of it whenever needed. She slowed as she reached the campus and was automatically waved through thanks to the tag on her windshield.

She parked in the very empty students’ lot being that school started next week and ran, literally tripping over her feet as she made her way to the coffee shop. The door flung open as she neared and she dashed through it at a much slower pace. Her eyes immediately caught blonde and she strode over, nerves making her steps jerky and almost moronic.

“Heda,” Aden said as she sat down and Lexa immediately calmed.

His effect was soothing and similar to Clarke’s. Whereas Clarke’s effect on her was as a result of her being in love with Clarke, Aden’s effect was due mainly to him actually knowing the whole story. Him and her had argued endlessly about telling Clarke, but Lexa had been adamant not to.

There was obviously a reason Clarke didn’t remember and Lexa didn’t want to step on any butterflies. Memory of the past or not, Clarke had fallen in love with her again and Lexa was happy. That was definitely enough for now.

“Where is she?” Lexa asked.

She really couldn’t take part in the small talk now. She needed to get through this and head home to Clarke. Aden pointed to the register and Lexa’s eyes followed their direction. Right behind the cashier, and a short red head girl dealing with a customer, was the dirtiest blonde head, straight back, hard gaze, chiseled jaw and a snark of an expression that was unmistakably Anya.

Anya was alive. Anya was here. Anya was staring at them. Lexa tried to look away, for now Anya was scowling and removing her apron, but she couldn’t. Lexa felt her mouth gape and now Anya was stalking over to them and Lexa fidgeted still staring. She was no commander in this life, but Anya was still a scary badass. When Anya stopped directly in front of their table Lexa’s eyes snapped to hers. Anya smirked at Lexa then turned to Aden.

“This the chick you sent my pic to?” Anya asked voice level, but demanding.

Aden’s mouth fell open and his cheeks flamed a boiling red. When he didn’t answer Anya spoke again.

“She’s not bad. What’s your name?”

Anya was looking at Lexa when she asked the question, and Lexa could only stare gulping slowly. Aden seemed to recover faster and jumped in saving them both.

“That’s Lexa. I’m Aden and yeah I sent her the pic. Never realized you caught me,”

Anya looked back at him smirking, then she pulled out the chair beside them and sat at the table without a proper welcome.

“Aren’t you working?” Lexa asked, finally finding her voice, nerves vanishing. Her eyes were on Anya now and Aden tried, but failed to hide a chuckle.

“The pretty girl speaks,” Anya beamed and Lexa glared at her, “I figured the sex eyes I was getting from you two were enough to warrant me a break.”

“We weren’t,” Lexa tried to explain, but couldn’t think of a good excuse so she stopped speaking.

Anya laughed. It was loud and heavy and Lexa felt it roll through her like a tidal wave seeking to reclaim its homeland. This was Anya, her mentor and her friend.

“Lexa here is spoken for, but I am very much single,” Aden responded.

Both Lexa and Anya laughed then and they stared at each other for a bit before looking back at Aden and cracking up all over again.

“Well it’s good to know you guys didn’t want a threesum because that would’ve awkward. Hot. But awkward,” Anya said between laughing, “I’m Anya,”

“Pleasure,” Aden whistled out, and both Anya and Lexa laughed again.

“You couldn’t handle me blondie,” she said to Aden and turning to Lexa she said, “I like him”

The smirk on her face was practically a full blown grin and the three of them fell into easy conversation.

 

//  
Clarke woke up in a white room. Her vision was fuzzy and except for a bed, the room was empty. She felt pale in the white gown and out of place. Her screaming came then, like a fog horn she didn’t control and she pounded the door seeking help. The door opened and an old man smiled at her. She saw a glimmer of what looked like the hem of a red dress disappearing around a corner, and then there was nothing.

Clarke woke up again, but this time the room was dark. Pitch like the tar kind of black and she pulled herself to her feet struggling to use the wall as support. She felt around painfully and when her fingers flicked over a switch, she silently fist bumped.

Light spilled into the room and she closed her eyes from the force of it. Once again Clarke glimpsed red and then it was gone. Clarke opened her eyes and wished she could close them again. The room had cages and the people stuffed inside looked bloody and beaten. The sight dragged Clarke to her knees and she buried her face in her palms as silent sobs wracked her body. One particular cage grabbed her attention and her eyes were disbelieving.

“Onya”

Clarke woke up on a river bank. Her head throbbing and her lips felt sore. She felt arms on her. Binding her and then they were fighting. Lights in the distance dragged them out of their scuffle. Anya was headed away from her, leaving to go back to the Commander who had been her second. Her back had hadn’t been turned for long when Clarke heard the shot and saw Anya flail to the ground hit.

“Onya!” Clarke screamed racing to her right as she was hit as well.

There were hands grabbing her and guns pointed at her. She was being dragged into the camp. They stopped and when she looked up she glimpsed red right before drifting off again—

“Mom,” then there was darkness.

 

/  
Clarke woke with a start. She flew up off the couch, feet hitting the ground and breaths coming rapidly. That dream was new and had felt so real she thought she would have died. Her chest was still rising and falling like waves crashing against rocks. Scrambling to the bathroom, Clarke ran her hands under the water, splashing it on her face as she tried to calm down.

“Lexa!” she called out and got no answer.

Clarke went into the bedroom they had decided to use as theirs and saw no sign of Lexa. What the hell she thought and headed back into the living room. She found her phone on the coffee table and pressed call on her speed dial and waited.

“Babe what the hell! You’re not here!” Clarke started as the phone connected.

“I’m sorry love. I’m headed back now,” Lexa responded and Clarke heard the hesitation and guilt spice her words.

“Where are you Lexa?” Clarke tried again getting more upset by the minute.

“The coffee shop on campus, but I’m leaving,” Lexa replied and Clarke heard Lexa drag in a breath.

“No. Stay. I need to get out of here,” and Clarke hung up and headed to the SUV making sure the door closed on the way out.

The drive cleared her head somewhat. It wasn’t a long journey, so now she was being waved through the University gates; thank you tag. She saw Lexa’s black BMW and pulled in beside it. Why the hell was Lexa even on the campus to begin with. Clarke sighed and exited the vehicle headed in the direction she knew the coffee shop was located from their orientation last weekend.

 

//  
Lexa hung up the phone and sighed. Of course Clarke would be upset with her. She had left their apartment without telling her their first day in a new place to go to a coffee shop. It was stupid, but it was Anya and she needed to see her. Sigh. Anya had excused herself to check on a customer and Lexa sat silent and worried.

“She mad?” Aden asked looking at her expectantly.

“Yes Aden, I left my girlfriend in our new apartment in a new place without telling her because you texted me a picture of a girl. What the fuck? Of course she’s upset!” Lexa spat out at him and saw him cringe.

“Okay okay, if you put it like that,” Aden responded hands up trying to placate Lexa’s anger.

“You did what!?”

None of them had seen Clarke come in, but the voice attacking them now was enough to make Lexa scramble out of her seat to face Clarke. Lexa was trying to gauge Clarke’s reaction and it was all anger spitting out of her eyes. Lexa was trying to step closer to Clarke, but she was shaking her head, so Lexa stopped.

“Baby, it’s not what you think,” Lexa tried, but no response. Clarke just glared at her and kept scowling at her brother.

“Clarke, she didn’t do anything,” Aden said trying to help.

“Oh you shut the fuck up A!” Clarke practically screamed at him and he looked away from her, “I can’t believe you were introducing my girlfriend to random girls Aden!”

“Clarke it’s really not what you think,” Lexa tried again, “Let me explain, please,”

Clarke hissed her teeth shaking her head. She knew Lexa would not cheat on her, but what was she to think. Her girlfriend left her at home unawares, to do what exactly. This was stupid. Why the hell was Aden even there, and why was he introducing Lexa to girls.

“Did you introduce Lexa to a girl you like?”

Clarke asked the question looking directly at Aden and before he could answer she saw Lexa look over to the front of the shop where a blonde girl was heading in their direction. Clarke couldn’t see the face of the blonde, as her head was down looking at her phone, but she saw Lexa fidgeting and snapped.

“Really Lexa, trying to tell your whore not to come back over here,” Clarke asked her, watching as Lexa shuffled her feet and what seemed like hurt flashed through her eyes.

“No Clarke please that wasn’t what I was—” but Clarke cut her off.

“Don’t lie to me Lex, please,” Clarke begged the brunette trying to control the anger that was boiling inside of her.

She decided then to leave and as she spun on her heel she connected with a lanky and muscled body, blonde hair and a string of curse words. Her limbs were tangled and Clarke felt hands pulling her up and she remembered the darkness of her dream, the pain she felt and the uneasiness it had presented.

Her eyes remembered red and her body stood and melted into the arms of apparently Lexa’s she realized as their bodies fit together. She planted her face into Lexa’s neck and tried her best not to cry. She had overreacted. God knows she had overreacted, but she loved Lexa so much and this was strange behavior and she didn’t know what to think.

“Seriously, I flirt with you and you send your girlfriend to knock me over Lexa,” the girl said getting up and brushing herself off.

Clarke chanced a look behind her, not wanting to fully part from the warmth of Lexa’s embrace. She turned slowly and immediately stopped breathing. Her breath caught in her throat and she moved fully to turn and face the girl. Her mouth fell open and she couldn’t believe her eyes were staring at—

“Onya,” Clarke whispered out.

The girl’s eyes snapped up to hers. There was some amount of recognition there and she felt Lexa tighten her arms around her. She saw Aden stand from the corner of her eyes and realized that the blonde was stepping closer to her, eyes sizing her up.

This was happening Clarke realized. This was real. Her dreams were real. Her thoughts flashed back to when Lexa had spoken to her that first day they’d met and now she understood how her crazy words could make sense now. Except she hadn’t died, Lexa had. Technicality maybe?

The fact was that Lexa had known. All this time Lexa had known and Clarke had forgotten their life, but Lexa had known. Now that Clarke thought about it, the connection between Aden and Lexa had been almost as instantaneous as hers and Lexa’s. Aden knew too. It made sense now. Everything made sense now. Except for Lexa thinking she had died; everything made sense.

She was brought out of her thoughts by the sound of her name, but she couldn’t draw her eyes away from the blonde’s. This was real, here she was standing in front of her past with things coming into perspective.

“Clarke,” she heard Lexa say.

“Yeah,” she responded dragging her eyes away.

“You know Anya?” Lexa asked trying to hold Clarke’s attention for longer than Anya’s staring. The question however caused Clarke to look back to Anya now though and Lexa locked her jaw.

“Lexa this is going to sound crazy, but I remember Anya or Onya. It was said differently. I—I, remember everything,” Clarke said as her voice wavered and broke.

She wriggled herself from Lexa’s arms to step closer to Anya. She gripped Anya’s jaw wanting to see fully if this was truly the girl from her dreams. Anya stood silently, eyes scanning Clarke’s face. It was a stoic expression, hard and reserved. Anya was silent, almost calculating and Clarke hoped her eyes expressed both her shock and relief.

Clarke noticed Lexa and Aden moving towards her and felt Anya pull away from her and then she was being hit. A fist connected with her jaw and Clarke felt herself falling to the ground. Lexa barely made it to her in time to catch Clarke’s head before it hit the ground.

“What the shit Anya! Attack her and you attack me!” Lexa growled at the towering blonde standing over her and Clarke.

Aden had grabbed onto Anya’s arm and was now trying to hold her in place. Anya barely struggled after hearing Lexa’s words. She just stared blankly at her. Her voice level and calm as she repeated something Clarke never thought she’d hear again.

“She killed 300 of our warriors Commander,”

“Oh shit,” Aden whispered.

Clarke felt herself drifting off back into the darkness. She felt Lexa’s hands on her. She could smell Lexa’s perfume and feel her breath on her face as she whispered that she’d be alright. The only thought in her head was that all of this was real.

Clarke faded into slumber right as all of their phones started going off.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seriously though guys, you are all amazing. Your kudos and comments really kept me writing even when I wanted to orphan the work. Let me know what you all think.  
> I love the Clexa family.


End file.
